Joy and Pain
May 3, 2013
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This is a mixture
They seem to go together
A choice can be made
Joy and pain are “twin sisters”*
A surprised discovery
I began this life with joy
The pain was hidden from me
Then surprised me with vengeance
And joy sustained me
A well-spring of energy
Like living water it came
It found me in the despair
Offering me hope
The memory compelled me
I am larger than my pain
I discovered this secret
Made in God’s image
This huge discovery came
A love affair ignited
One that cannot be explained
Pursued by God’s love
There is great wisdom
Pay attention to questions
Reflect on your life
Give yourself to the seeking
God is searching to find you
He is running to meet you
With the deepest compassion
You find it in the story
Of God’s unique Son
“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in our hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.” Ephesians 3:16-17
“You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” Psalm 16:11
*I got the phrase “Twin Sisters” from a poem my wife Charlotte wrote years ago.
For my nephew Kirk, on his birthday
Who Are the Heroes?
November 12, 2012
On the front page of Newsweek dated, November 12, 2012, the headline is entitled, “The Heroes Issue”. General Petraeus is recognized for his 12 Rules of Leadership. His fifth rule is: “We all make mistakes. The key is to recognize them and admit them, to learn from them, and to take off the rear-view mirror-drive and avoid making them again.”
“Life breaks everyone”
A line that is familiar
But some become strong
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The human heart will judge you
Whether you are religious
Or just believe in yourself
On the twists and turns of life
You’re wise to seek good counsel
The ones who can admit
Tell the truth about themselves
Come out from hiding
Hold themselves accountable
Then arise from the ashes
The General Petraeus
A leader in the country
Told the truth about himself
Then resigned his job
Many condemn him
His own heart judges him most
How he handles this
Will be the test of his life
King David can be of help
Power does corrupt
Pride makes one vulnerable
Easily deceived
Lust will dismantle the soul
Greed poisons the human heart
A leader has fallen hard
His great opportunity
Is to model now a way
To be forgiven
One way to escape
The deep judgment of your heart
Meet one that’s greater
Who knows your story so well
Who loves you like his own son
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General Petraeus, your story is not over. God meets you with the same compassion he met David the King, the “woman at the well”, “the Centurion”, “the thief on the cross” and me. I pray mercy reigns for you, your wife and your children. Let the world see now, how a leader rises by the grace of God.
Ernest Hemingway stated: ”The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places.”
“He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up to us all–how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?”Romans 8:32, Psalm 51
Ty Osman II – Legacy of Joy
March 13, 2012
This past Friday, I had the sad honor of speaking at the funeral of young Ty Osman.
Four questions I addressed:
1. What would Ty want you to know?
“I never tasted death. I moved from life to life.”
2. What would Ty want you to do?
“Remain aware that what matters most is a person.”
3. What would Ty want you to feel?
“Feel and believe that God passionately loves you.”
4. Who would Ty want you to be?
“Be someone who practices being in the presence of God.”
These are four moments that I shared in connection with each question:
1. The moment Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead (John 11).
2. The moment Jesus revealed he was aware of the sick woman (Mark 5).
3. The moment Jesus compassionately said to Jairus, “Don’t be afraid, only believe!” (Mark 5:36)
4. The moment I sat with Ty at midnight and I listened to him share his heart (July 13, 2011). I told Ty that if I had five minutes to live, and could only tell him one thing, it would be this: ”Go into your room and close your door and pray to your Father, who is unseen … Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” – Jesus (Matthew 6:6-8)
Here are three things Ty focused on each day:
Kneeling to pray.
Reading the devotional book the Jesus Calling.
Listening to God by reading the Bible.
You are invited to develop these spiritual habits in your life. Many people have been inspired by Ty’s life and faith and are now adding Ty’s routine to their day.
Ty Osman II leaves us a legacy of joy that he is living right now.
Ty Osman II – A Treasure
March 7, 2012
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Our hearts are broken
Ty Osman our beloved
Has gone – left a gaping hole
Our grief overwhelms
How can you heal the pieces
Of our souls that are shattered
We don’t understand
Why his life was taken now
We are angry, sad and torn
Who gets the blame here
We thought you would protect him
Where were your angels this time
I did protect him
I gave him what he wanted
A life eternal
His purpose fulfilled
He has made my presence known
I knew him better than you
I loved him more than you did
I made him in my image
Just like I made you
I never promised
That you would not see trouble
What I promised you is this
I’ll never leave you
Death cannot destroy your life
You believe in me, you will not die
He heard my calling
He listened to me as a son
Ty spent time with me
We would daily meet
He struggled with perfection
He thought he must be good
For me to call him my son
I met him in his weakness
He chose to believe what mattered most.
The memories that we have
Treasures that last forever
Living with moments of joy
The look in his eyes
The joy that he shared
With passion to serve others
A young life that saw
The vision of love for all
Compelled by friendship with God
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Just as He hears You
January 14, 2012
A woman who had spent all of her money on doctors, after being ill for twelve years, touches Jesus cloak. A miracle happened as she cried out and reach out to Jesus. The same happens today. He hears us and always responds. God hears the human cries. Click here to read the story.
A large crowd came to see him
He stood there on the sea shore
Jairus fell at his feet
“My daughter is dying”
“Will you come and heal?
She is only twelve years old”
He begged Jesus to come
“If you will put your hands on her
I know she will not die”
He left with the crowd
Traveling toward Jairus’ House
In the crowd was a woman
An outcast by law
Bleeding for twelve years
Unclean by purity laws
She suffered greatly
All of her money was gone
She touched the hem of his cloak
She touched his cloak and was healed
She could feel that she was clean
Whole from touching his garment
He could feel her touch
Jesus felt the power leave
His response was, “Who touched me?”
Everyone was silent
All were touching him
Then the silence was broken
This woman came forth and spoke
His gaze fell on the woman
She dropped to her knees
Shaking, fearful and amazed
“I am the one who touched you”
He listened to her story
He heard why she came
“Because you believe, you’re healed”
Go in peace now and stay well
He heard the cry of her heart
Just as he hears yours
A little Kindling for the Soul
December 24, 2011
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A fresh spring of joy
Rivers of living water
Come pouring down on our lives
His living presence
Coming in the little things
Making us aware of love
I rise seeking God
Out my window it is dark
The breaking of dawn
Calls me to remember this
God is waiting to be praised
I will wait on God
I seek Him with all my heart
I ask His gracious Spirit
Make your words my joy
With my mind engaged I come
Help me be ready to act
The following comes from the reading of Luke 24:13-25 and Henri Nouwen’s reflections on Jesus meeting the two on the road to Emmaus. Henri Nouwen structures the five movements in this conversation: loss, presence, invitation, communion and mission. He identifies these as the five main aspects of the Eucharist celebration.
This is a movement
“Resentment to gratitude”
“Hardened heart to grateful heart”
Invited to come
Experience and affirm
His living presence with us
I will celebrate
This movement in my body
The temple of God
The miracle of God’s choice
To live and dwell in my soul
Jesus is walking by you
Just as he did on the road
They did not recognize Him
Open our eyes, Lord
Their eyes were downcast
He asked “What are you thinking?”
They spoke the truth they could see
Despair ruled their hearts
Their dream was shattered
When Jesus spoke their hearts burned
But still they could not see Him
They listened to history
He explained from the prophets
This story that they were in
And about Himself
He prayed and he broke the bread
God comes to us in prayer
I know I’m like them
Circumstances will dictate
Unless I learn this lesson
When I pray He comes
My eyes are opened with faith
I choose who I will believe
I come this morning
The dawn is breaking today
You know my story
And thankfully I know yours
Let the light of life shine through
I will go forth with a message
A friendship available
Given to all who believe
Help me make you known
I pray you all are aware today that God is near you, and that you receive the gift of His presence, just as the two on the road to Emmaus had their eyes opened. When you pray, God will open your eyes. You will remember how your hearts burned when He walked beside you, when you were unaware of the reality of His kind presence.
Merry Christmas, blessings and peace.
With love,
Terry and Charlotte
December 24, 2011
Dedicated to the Servants of Christ, Memphis, Tennessee
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Mark Your Life
December 18, 2011
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Mark your life with joy
Mark your life with vision
Mark your life with love
Mark your destiny with hope
Defeat the past with courage
Trouble is reality
Joy the antidote
I need a fresh wind
Rekindle the fire in me
Set my heart aflame
I will command joy
I have learned to use my mind
I will decide what I think
About life and death
Despair, guilt, shame, fear are gone
When I set head, heart, and gut
Who decides your destiny
Who will decide your future
Who speaks to the real issue
We all want to know
“Religion” fails us
Humans construct it with care
Why does it bring death
The human heart feels judgment
Forgiveness not practiced
Acceptance and love
The keys to relationship
Given free to all
Who seek to know what is true
Who seek to know what matters
I’m being transformed
My joy is larger than pain
Our lives are sacred
A treasure to be shared
The journey grows richer with time
I cannot explain
The joy I live with each day
Eternal friendship
Wisdom can be found
Mark your story with knowledge
What’s appropriate
And how to treat a person
Made in the image of God
“My hands off – heart in”
That means I’m not in control
I will do what I can do
Leave the rest to God
Seek wisdom with all my heart
And wait for the clarity
I am just a man
Ordinary one at that
Aware of my own greatness
Just because I am
With all my failures and sins
I discovered I am loved
So I will show up
I will mark my life with Peace
Like leaven that makes bread rise
A sweet aroma of joy
Will fill up my soul
© Terry S. Smith
December 17, 2011
“I came to give life and to give it abundantly.” Jesus
“Never, never, never give up!” Winston Churchill
“Nothing in the World is as Important as a Human Being.” Landon Saunders
“Never, never, never give up!” Winston Churchill
“Nothing in the World is as Important as a Human Being.” Landon Saunders
With thanks to Natalie Allan for sharing, “My hands off – heart in.”
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Receive Divine Love
December 13, 2011
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Suffering does have a purpose
Though it hurts beyond words
When you are falsely accused
And you choose to love
Though it hurts beyond words
When you are falsely accused
And you choose to love
Forgiveness – a choice I make
A painful process I know
Son of Man and Son of God
One who shows me how
He endured the pain
All the rejection and shame
Physical, emotional
The loss of all family
Left alone to die for me
The question of faith
Each must give their own answer
I know the story
I’m reminded this season
When I sing “O Holy Night”
I fall on my knees
His story touches my soul
Takes me to the heart of God
Embraces the pain
Gives me the power to love
And forgive those who wronged me
You hear the invitation
To come and rest in His peace
To drink the living water
Receive Divine Love
I seek the silence
When I am quiet I hear
The quiet whisper
Of a love larger than me
Embracing my soul with joy
~
© Terry S. Smith
December 9, 2011
Inspired by the song “O Holy Night”, sung by David Phelps, (sent to me by Jerry Dantone, a high school friend), and reflections from the first letter Peter wrote in the New Testament.
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No time for my tears
September 18, 2011
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There was no time for my tears
At seven years old life changed
Relationships were shattered
Love bonds were broken
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No one would explain
I guess no one had the words
Each lost in their own pain
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Angels attended
There was comfort in silence
An unseen presence
~
Many hours to wonder
To feel the deep grief alone
To discover a secret
A love deep within my soul
And a hunger to know more
~
As I grew older
My desire to understand
Grew exponentially
A desire to know
What is this unseen presence
I was hungry to know more
~
Gladness and joy came
In the searching I could see
Love pursuing me
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Sorrow and sighing
Experienced deep comfort
From the unseen God
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© Terry S. Smith
September 18, 2011
Written after reading Isaiah 50 & 51 and recalling memories from my life story.
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Expectation
August 5, 2011
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I wait in expectation
For you to draw near to me
Teach me what I need to know
To reflect your love
This greater joy comes
When I confront illusions
False idols I will call them
Born in childhood
They run deep and are toxic
Hidden in the secret place
Unconsciously in my soul
There is only one cure
A friend who loves me deeply
Who gives me bread for my soul
Only the Holy Spirit
Dismantles the lies
I am powerless
When I arise in the day
Controlled by a bitter way
I cry out for help
I found God to be faithful
Compassionate and giving
Terry S. Smith
August 1, 2011
Written after meditating on Psalm 1-5 and Proverbs 1.
Awakening to Love
July 4, 2011
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My soul in the dust
Your words can revive me
Teach me your ways
Create in me a hunger
To know you and follow you
Let me grasp your real presence
Meditate on your wonder
My grief is overwhelming
I sit in despair
No one seems to care
An obstacle many face
Where are my friends
Is there anyone to see
The brokenness of my soul
I have found there’s only one
Who sees me and knows me well
A mysterious treasure
Let your love break through
Your law has become my joy
It reveals deliverance
It is sweet like the honey
On the honeycomb
Jesus fulfilled the law
Entered the depth of my pain
Made it possible to see
The heart of my God
He sends the Holy Spirit
To comfort in my weakness
Give power when I’m afraid
Renew the Father’s love
Hold me when I cannot move
Speak for me when I cannot speak
Secure me in my deepest place
Just be still, let go
A decision I can make
When I sit in unbelief
I can choose to believe him
One who chose to love
Remember the times
Meditate on his story
Consider his love
It is personal to you
Just come to him as you are
I’ll run to your commands
For they have set my heart free
“I bind myself to do your will”
I will choose your love
© Terry S. Smith
June 28, 2011
The line in quotations is from The Abbey Psalter of Psalm 119:25-32.
Written after meditating on Psalm 119.
the other side of Darkness
April 30, 2011
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There is a dark night
That comes to each of us
Engages the soul
No one likes to feel helpless
Who would dare choose the darkness
Life is on the other side
That’s what I was told
That’s what I found to be true
It is a part of the journey
We’re all pushed to the limit
Desperation is the word
Time to listen carefully
To heart, soul, and mind
I’ll choose good people
Who will give me room to think
Believe I can make it
Who have tasted the darkness
And understand the process
I will ask for help
From those whose lives speak to me
Who have found joy
© Terry S. Smith
First posted February 2, 2010
Hope
April 23, 2011
To read the true story this poem is based on click here.
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Mary and Martha
Their hope did not come
When they wanted Him to come
They were grieving and broken
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Jesus disappointed them
He did not come when they called
He did come with a surprise
With power and love
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He came to them right on time
To teach them new things of God
They knew He was their good friend
They knew He was God
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“Your brother will rise to life”
His presence revealed this truth
He wept when He saw Mary
He knew her name well
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Yes, He knows your name
He also weeps for you now
He knows your story and your grief
He is here for you
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He asked for Mary
She heard Martha whispering
“The teacher is calling you”
To come and see Him
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He is calling you
Do you hear His whispering
His voice can be heard
Use both heart and mind
And focus on His story
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Dedicated to our special family friend Michelle.
First posted on my daughter Sara’s blog “A Spacious Place”.
past wounds
April 9, 2011
Sue was my girlfriend
From the ninth grade to college
She was a princess
She lived in a huge mansion
Her chauffeur drove her to school
In her blue convertible
His name was “Shorty”
Life looked good on the outside
Sue was the oldest of five
Her father I rarely saw
Her mother stayed near
She was beautiful
But her world was sad as mine
Although hers appeared the best
Money hid the tragedy
It hid all of the emptiness
Suicide was the result
I thought we lived in two worlds
But later I saw the truth
We came from the same sad world
Relationships dark
We met in our woundedness
She was very kind to me
Our hearts were breaking with grief
With no words to speak
At eighteen we parted ways
Trying to hang on to love
She went to the Ivy League
I went to Ole Miss
Our letters were sweet
Our voices became distant
We could not sustain our love
It was not enough
My life fell apart
Despair became a doorway
Sue’s dad died by his own hand
We were both empty
My search led me to seek life
Her search led her to despair
Her depression led to her death
Sadness and grief crushed us all
Money could not fix the pain
Our hearts were broken
©Terry S. Smith First posted February 20, 2010
In memory of Sue, who died by suicide at age twenty-six.
Extravagant Love
March 26, 2011
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The voices that I hear
Are the ones who are not speaking
Their silence is screaming out
I do know their pain
Suffering is the teacher
It is one I did not choose
Desperation silenced me
I now have language
All along the way
People have arisen here
I did not know I needed
Their voices touched me
Their presence ignited me
A fire lit up my soul
Friendship sets me free
To listen to the heartbreak
And wait in silence
Compassion invites me in
Only my tears tell my heart
It is the language of tears
It is my deepest desire
To make real what is the truth
Extravagant love
© Terry S. Smith
First posted August 5, 2009
