Bill Frey – A Gift
March 4, 2012
A friend is a gift
He was always glad to see me
No expectations
No plans for my improvement
Rejoicing in our friendship
With light in his eyes
Giving joy and acceptance
Generous and kind
Special history
So many loved him dearly
A giver not a taker
A wise man who knows
What matters most in this life
The value of a person
I watched him live it
First Bunny, his beloved
Melissa, his child
His friends he made feel special
Those who worked with him honored
Compassionate and faithful
A true man who sought the best
Loved to laugh and take pleasure
All in his presence
I have some regrets
I did not avail myself
Of more moments of his friendship
But one thing I know
We both shared a deep bonding
That is eternal and real
One promise he knew
Death would not be the winner
Love was much greater
Defined by the Christ who died
Who rose victoriously
He was not afraid
Bunny was there to comfort
Missy held him close
A sacred moment for them
As in peace he breathed his last
This tender moment for them
Will always be in my mind
Bunny on his chest whispered
“I love you and it’s O.K.
You can let go and go home”
February twenty ninth
His dad, Carl, died on that day
He knew that this was the day
He was not afraid
We all hated this process
The angels were all around
Bill was covered with God’s love
Surrounded by his dear friends
Held close by his beloved
Angels attending
Terry S. Smith
March 1, 2012
The Psalms I was meditating on as I wrote these thoughts were: Psalm 4; 34; 91; 103; 119:50 and John 11.
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Radiant Love
May 7, 2011
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I was desperate
Lonely and afraid of death
Death is when no one sees you
Acknowledges you
Will look at you with kind eyes
Or speak your name with great love
~
I began to seek
The terror began to leave
I tasted freedom
~
My friends were fading away
I felt loneliness coming
This poor man called out for help
The Lord heard my cry
~
He rescued me from distress
Looking back I see angels
Attending in the darkness
I found sweet refuge
~
I tasted something
A mystery I explored
I found love seeking
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A radiant love
Touched the core of my being
And introduced me to joy
I come in silence
I awake each day seeking
In awe and hungry to know
~
Joy’s at the center
Love is what’s radiated
Peace is the result
Hope for the future is certain
Desire for the truth drives me
~
Fifty years of seeking
Sixty-nine years of living
One thing I know to be true
God loves all people
~
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© Terry S. Smith
May 7, 2011
Reflections written after meditating on Psalms 31-34.
Hope
April 23, 2011
To read the true story this poem is based on click here.
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Mary and Martha
Their hope did not come
When they wanted Him to come
They were grieving and broken
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Jesus disappointed them
He did not come when they called
He did come with a surprise
With power and love
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He came to them right on time
To teach them new things of God
They knew He was their good friend
They knew He was God
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“Your brother will rise to life”
His presence revealed this truth
He wept when He saw Mary
He knew her name well
~
Yes, He knows your name
He also weeps for you now
He knows your story and your grief
He is here for you
~
He asked for Mary
She heard Martha whispering
“The teacher is calling you”
To come and see Him
~
He is calling you
Do you hear His whispering
His voice can be heard
Use both heart and mind
And focus on His story
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Dedicated to our special family friend Michelle.
First posted on my daughter Sara’s blog “A Spacious Place”.
past wounds
April 9, 2011
Sue was my girlfriend
From the ninth grade to college
She was a princess
She lived in a huge mansion
Her chauffeur drove her to school
In her blue convertible
His name was “Shorty”
Life looked good on the outside
Sue was the oldest of five
Her father I rarely saw
Her mother stayed near
She was beautiful
But her world was sad as mine
Although hers appeared the best
Money hid the tragedy
It hid all of the emptiness
Suicide was the result
I thought we lived in two worlds
But later I saw the truth
We came from the same sad world
Relationships dark
We met in our woundedness
She was very kind to me
Our hearts were breaking with grief
With no words to speak
At eighteen we parted ways
Trying to hang on to love
She went to the Ivy League
I went to Ole Miss
Our letters were sweet
Our voices became distant
We could not sustain our love
It was not enough
My life fell apart
Despair became a doorway
Sue’s dad died by his own hand
We were both empty
My search led me to seek life
Her search led her to despair
Her depression led to her death
Sadness and grief crushed us all
Money could not fix the pain
Our hearts were broken
©Terry S. Smith First posted February 20, 2010
In memory of Sue, who died by suicide at age twenty-six.
Extravagant love
August 31, 2010
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My voice is silenced
With this massive loss of Liz
I have no language
~
I need words of hope
I’m searching for the voices
That will speak the truth
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Liz LaVelle’s life speaks!
She is God’s voice to us today
Her life rings out with passion!
Spontaneous joy!
Our hearts are grieved beyond words
Comfort those nearest and dear
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One voice comes with Power
One voice speaks to death’s darkness
One voice with authority
“You will never die!”
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Today we don’t grieve for Liz,
We grieve for us, our great loss
She lives, we’ll see her again
How do we go on now?
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We draw near to You
You have sought us and found us
Broken and seeking
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There is one who comes
I cannot explain this love
It’s bigger than death
The words of Jesus bring life
Breathe hope into my spirit
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To Liz’s precious family:
You will see Liz face to face
Jesus keeps His promises
Let him comfort you
~
To Liz’s friends:
Let Liz’s life be remembered
Let her voice be heard by all
God is real…and He loves you!
His love is extreme
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Christ lives in the human heart
Little children saw God’s face
As Liz loved, touched, and cherished
She saw the children
God’s gentleness calls
All of us to stop and think,
What really matters?
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Liz knew what mattered
Her cup was full of His joy
Her life invites us
To arise and say, “thank you”
Love God, and one another
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Liz’s word to all of us:
Do not weep for me
I cannot come to you now,
You can come to me
Let God’s Spirit comfort you
Draw near each day to His heart
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Extravagant love
He always keeps His promise
Please accept this treasured gift
Then give it away
Joy comes in obeying Him
Love each other as God loves
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Please see the children
The ones who’ve been abandoned
God is here to comfort you
Raise you up in love
~
Terry S. Smith
August 31, 2010
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Free
February 23, 2010
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I’m given to gluttony
I wish it were not so true
It has affected my health
Food is for fuel
~
When you sit to dine
Note well what is before you
Is it what you need
~
Don’t wear yourself out searching
To get rich with this earth’s goods
They fly off like the eagle
False security
I’ll seek instruction
Looking for words of knowledge
About how to live
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The truth sets you free
Wisdom and understanding
Come with discipline
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Precious in the sight of God
Is the death of His dear ones*
I want to be your servant
Precious in your eyes
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You have freed me from my chains
From pride, lust, greed, and despair
Your love embraced me in these
I am filled with joy
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I’m thankful today
To be alive and aware
Of who gives me life
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The Lord is with me
I will never be afraid
Of what man can do to me
My God is loving
I found him running to me
In quiet I can see him
~
© Terry S. Smith
February 23, 2010
*based on Psalm 116:5
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Everyone has a story
September 14, 2009
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It’s hard to change your thinking
When you are so sure you know
Look at your life with wisdom
Ask, “Is it working?”
Answer honestly
Be aware that death is real
It’s universal
Death deserves a good answer
One we must not be afraid
To consider all options
We only die once
Looking at my death
I found a window of hope
I have been surprised by life
I’m willing to share
With those who might just wonder
What information I have
Don’t assume you know
This is about life within
Be still and listen
Everyone has a story
I’ve learned something from each one
Thousands I have heard
You need someone to hear
How you travel in this life
Find someone who will listen
Who’s honest and cares
© Terry S. Smith
written June 20, 2009
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Let love renew you
July 13, 2009
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There is a rhythm of God
That runs deep from the inside
Come in and sit down with love
Let love renew you
The internal mystery
Must be developed by you
It’s a training you must decide
I’ve found the wellspring
Your vision is important
Decide where you are going
Make your plans with intention
Then be rigorous
My reason for discipline
Has captured my entire soul
I choose to awake with it
Deep love will rule me
Circumstances will not rule me
I will have no fear of death
I know what I am living for
Secure in His love
written October 13, 2008
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I am not afraid
July 8, 2009
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Written while in the Emergency Room.
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Death may come today
It’s real and I can touch it
I am not afraid
My blood pressure was too high
They said it was dangerous
These kinds of things will kill you
I’m being tested
It is just a reminder
This body is wearing out
Death is one thing that happens
To male and female
I like who I am
That has not always been so
I’ve learned to forgive
It’s not easy to forgive
Yourself and all the others
Changing points of reference
Has opened my eyes
l thought I that I knew
Then I knew I did not know
I knew I was lost
Then someone found me searching
Eager to teach me real love
There is rest in real silence
I found it in the hallway
Waiting in the hospital
Listening to the sounds
Doctors, nurses giving tests
Explaining to me the risks
If I die I know the reason
Why I am not here
They do it with smiles
Taking the right precautions
Being kind and thoughtful
They are the real thing
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My eyes are being opened
Finding love pursuing me
It is a constant living truth
I cannot deny
July 6-7, 2009
the reality of death
June 18, 2009
Death sits as my enemy
It’s a constant reminder
Of my own powerlessness
When it comes I weep
~
It is sudden and swift
It is like a tornado
We don’t like to think about
The reality
~
I know that death is coming
With my head but not my heart
Somehow I think I will escape
Where do I get that
~
I decided to face it
To turn and look death straight on
I’ll not live my life in fear
And miss the great joy
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Two kinds of death that I see
Physical and spiritual
What blinds people from seeing
Are internal lies
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Those lies must be confronted
And only you can do it
Be sure you get all the facts
You’re responsible
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Who is it that speaks to death
That’s what I wanted to know
I sought an authentic voice
Not religious talk
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We all have been hurt
I have tasted the injustice
Relationship betrayal
I grew up in it
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I decided I would stop
The cycle of death given me
The one my parents lived in
The questions began
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Each person has a story
That deserves full attention
Everyone needs to be heard
That’s what I believe
~
Real conversation
Is what I need from someone
Who will listen and respond
And consider well
Understanding my story
And me understanding theirs
~
written June 17, 2009
after a week with several deaths
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