I Light Up My House

December 29, 2012

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This morning I lit a candle. I dropped to my knees.  I said The Lord’s Prayer  slowly and thoughtfully, meditating on the words: “Father,” “kingdom,” “your will,” “on earth as it is in heaven,” “forgiveness” and “temptation.”  Then I moved into a focused reading of Psalms 16, contemplating David’s interaction with God.  As I did these things, a metaphor came to me.

 

My body is the tabernacle of God.  Mentally, I go throughout the tabernacle lighting the candles in each room.  The light of love from the Father illuminates the main room.  As I move from room to room, I light the candle that brightens its darkness.  I light the candles of peace in each room.  Forgiveness is the brightest light that brings the gentle presence of God with his awareness of my story.  The candle of joy is lit and affirms the power of His indwelling presence that will never leave or forsake me.  The rooms are filled with comfort as the light illuminates the deep grief and loss I have no words for ….  Then there is the candle of hope, the certainty of a God who will always keep all of His promises.

~

My temptation is to let all the noise of my heart, coming from the dark rooms, draw me into action, before I let the light in that guides me in this treacherous wonder-filled journey.  I then awaken to the joy of the house I live in and continually listen to the counsel I receive.

 ~~

“God is light and in him is no darkness at all.”

 I John 1:5

*Tabernacle=dwelling place

Fountain of Life

October 24, 2010

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The fountain of life
Is for those who choose to hear
The One who gives life
Accept his unfailing love
Drink deeply from his presence
~
Extravagant love
Demonstrated and given
Yours to accept
~
Remember the story
Practice what he modeled here
Daily he drew near to God
And loved the wounded
Those who came to him seeking
Receiving his gentle touch
~
It is in giving
That you receive his blessing
Trusting that he has given
All his love to you
You must practice perceiving
Hearing his voice in silence
~
Renewed in mind
Accept that you are chosen
Beloved and holy
Then be clothed with compassion
Kindness and humility
~
Forgive offenses
As you have been forgiven
And above all love
It holds all things together
Let God’s peace rule your heart now
~
© Terry S. Smith
October 14, 2010
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Written after meditating on Colossians 3, John 15, and Proverbs 14.  I am also reading Battlefield of the Mind, by Joyce Meyer. 
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Living Free

October 1, 2010

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I will look for what’s fair
I will not speak to quickly
I will listen for all concerned
I will not fear death
~
Pride has been my enemy
Hidden in my unconscious
It can breed self-righteousness
A snake in the grass
~
An angry man will destroy
A man of peace will bring life
To be angry is not wrong
How you speak can be
~
Patience with yourself
Will help you with compassion
The door way to life
You cannot give to others
What you cannot give yourself
~
Forgiveness – the miracle
The greatest that’s known to man
This is the hidden secret
The basis of love
~
Forgiving yourself
A most difficult challenge
The truth will free you
~
It’s like a fresh drink
That is received in the heat
A cool drink that refreshes
It’s living water
~
© Terry S. Smith
September 28, 2010
Meditations written after reading Proverbs 29 and John 15.
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the way to joy

December 11, 2009

A gentle hand touches me

A loving smile embraces

I respond with gratitude

Overwhelmed with joy


Each day is a mystery

Who can know what it will bring

I will begin with laughter

Peace comes in the pain


The journey is hard

Easy answers do not work

The trouble is real


My parents failed me

They did not love each other

Home, not a safe place


Their parents failed them also

The cycle must be broken

It’s time to stop the death run

I will start with me


Somebody needs to live it

To reveal the way to joy

Forgiveness stops the cycle

Love will overcome


I’ll be a victim no more

By decisions of others

Responsibility’s mine

Which way I will go

 
© Terry S. Smith
December 11, 2009
 
Dedicated to my grandson Preston, who is 6 today.
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Live well

November 29, 2009

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Love, a narrow road
Few people choose to take it
Those who do find joy
 
Forgiveness is a mountain
Disciplined thinking will help
Overcoming distractions
Rooted in the pain
 
The fruit of unforgiveness
Is poisonous and deadly
It robs the soul of joy
There is no relief
 
I have found a way
To look at myself with love
If I can forgive myself
I can forgive you
 
© Terry S. Smith
November 22, 2009
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love always receives

November 21, 2009

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It is easy to see others
Their failures and bad deeds
For one to look at oneself
Takes courage and truth
 
When I see myself
I must lay all the stones down
For I too have failed
 
Until you see all sides
A decision is foolish
An un-reconciled life hurts
The children suffer
 
Love always receives
No matter what the offense
And gives forgiveness
 
If you’ve not received this love
You are not able to give
Examine yourself today
Receive love’s great gift
 
© Terry S. Smith
November 8, 2008
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Would you be willing?

November 4, 2009

~
Would you be willing
To begin again each day
And see through new eyes
 
Would you be willing
To listen to the people
Who say you hurt them
 
Would you be willing
To ask them to forgive you
For whatever is your part
Not to be defensive
To let them know you accept
Your responsibility
 
Would you be willing
To declare your intentions
And admit your faults
 
Would you be willing
To choose to be kind
Even when you’re hurt
 
Would you be willing
To not judge motivation
And forgive freely
 
Would you be willing
To accept amazing love
To know that you are forgiven
And cherished by One
Who knows all of your story
And delights in your presence
 
© Terry S. Smith
written November 4, 2009
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abundant life

October 21, 2009

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What is it I need

To live each day with real joy?

Security: Yes

To know my life has real worth

And I’ve the power to choose

 

Let’s not forget the basics

Good food and relationships

Love and care demonstrated

Where laughter abounds

 

This goal can be reached

It will take your best thinking

A desire to live 

 

When our time begins

We’re born having received love

Nestled in our mother’s womb

Safe, secure and loved

We live needing to be loved

We live needing to give love

 

© Terry S. Smith

written October 21, 2009

 

Life vision

October 3, 2009

~
How I look at life is crucial
Because I do what I think
Actions will show my beliefs
Choose beliefs wisely 
~
How I view myself
Important to my journey
I must renew my mind
I do it daily
 
It takes bravery
To look at life’s stories
My own and others
I can criticize or love
I can forgive or condemn
 
I have a life vision
One that compels me
Love, joy, and peace
 
© Terry S. Smith
written February 26, 2009
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the high road

October 1, 2009

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I’ll take the “high road”

It is the road to give peace

To those that I fail

And to the ones who hurt me

 

I’ll never give up

I will always be searching

For new ways to love

 

I call it life long learning

My mistakes are my teachers

And there are many

 

But I’m bigger than my faults

And so are those around me

When I can forgive myself

I forgive others

 

© Terry S. Smith

written October 1, 2009

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My Father’s Deep Love

June 21, 2009

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It is Father’s day

I know my Father’s deep love

He gave all he had

 

I want to know the meaning

That he had when he began

What did he want life to be

For you and for me

 

He began with a vision

I will search this believing

What he had in mind was good

And I can find it

 

I know the place to begin

I  believe I am worth it

I must care enough for me

Look for a higher love

 

I found in me a darkness

That frankly has frightened me

I know I am capable

Of giving great pain

 

I have found I need help

From something larger than me

I know I am powerless

To overcome me

 

I began at the bottom

To discover I need help

To love myself and others

Mercy I received

 

I know that you forgive me

Because that is who you are

You are the one thing in my life

That will never shift

 

I praise you that I can read

I praise you that I can breath

I praise you that I can see

And hear your kind call

 

My mind is quickened 

My heart turns to see clearly

My imagination smiles

I’m open to love

Love is running to meet me

I surrender my being

 

I am in awe at what I see

When I practice gratitude

All day long I am aware

Of what’s really true

 

I pause to listen

In the early morning time

With expectation

 

I begin with taking in

Thoughts from the one who made me

Tasting the joy of great love

 

June 21, 2009

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~
What I treasure the most is
A relationship of love
The kind a mother has for
A child of her womb
 ~
Sometimes mothers are broken
They can’t give their deepest love
They had children much too soon
My mother was one
 ~
My parents did not know how
To withstand their failing love
Their children suffered great loss
 ~
Everyone has a story
Each person needs to be heard
What matters is love
 ~
The message is forgiveness
The work we have is: believe
We are breaking from within
Love gently pursues
 ~
I look for answers
To comfort my internal
Brokenness and pain
 ~
The trouble in my journey
Did not start with my choices
My parents handed my theirs
Now I make my choice
 ~
I have four children
Who know what my choice has been
One thing they know for sure
Is that I love them
That will never be changed
They have memories that help
 ~
I’ve found a deep joy
That is larger than I am
Love’s healing power changed me
Love I wish for all
At one time I hoped for it
Now I celebrate and thank
 ~
It is a hidden love
That wants to be found by all
Love searching for you
~
written October 7, 2008
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healing

May 25, 2009

What do you do when 
Trust is broken among us
I have found a way
Healing of a good friendship
Will take time and your best thought
We are all in a hurry
Slow down and be wise
.
The breaking of promises
Is one of the first killers
It is like breaking a leg
You no longer run
.
How do you choose your close friends
That has been my big question
I know who the first friend is
I will befriend me
~
I found a criteria
That works for me over time
My greatest gift is the friends
Who have come to me
~
Yes, I have learned a secret
An experience of life 
One I am happy to share
With those listening
~
My first friend is me
This is hardest of all
For I have failed me
~
Yes, forgiving me
Then forgiving the others
Which of these comes first
~
You decide which one is first
But I must begin with me
The other has broken trust
I have no control
~
I concentrate on healing
Relief is not the answer
I seek good counsel
~~
Anger can blind you
Of appropriate options
Your fears will paralyze you
Hide the healing touch
Please consider being still 
And find a very safe place (And find the wisdom of love)
~
There’s nothing wrong with anger
It represents the deep hurt
Get it out in a safe place
Then look at options
~
Although the path is simple
A profound truth you must see
You must understand one thing
Your personal worth
~
So search out your friends
Be honest and transparent
Forgive yourself and others
I begin with that
Accept that you are human
And those around your are, too
~
My mother failed me
She was nineteen when I came
I had an older brother
Father, twenty-one
Listen to your story well
You will find important clues
~
My sister was born
Before mom was twenty-one
Mom’s life was broken
~
Everyone has a story
There are secrets in each one
Some are good and some are bad
I found the good ones
~
The bad ones are real
Secrets that need to be told
It gave me understanding
Seen without judgment
I will lead with compassion
For myself and the others
~
To make space everyday
To be aware of my world
To be kind and respectful
And choose what makes sense
~
I found friends who live in joy
Yes, they have been hard to find
When I decided to search
I found friends looking
~
My teachers are good
I have chosen them with care
They lead with their life
I have asked them my questions
And they have given respect
~
Life is a process
A tree starts as an acorn
Planted in good soil
Watered well and good sunshine
Then a mighty oak is grown
~
The same is true for persons
With plenty of time and love
A heart searching for the truth
Honesty guiding (With authentic talk)
~
The best person in my life
I have known for forty-six years
I’ve failed her more than others
Her love is secure
~
She is one of those dear friends
Who’ll never leave or forsake
One I have always trusted
Who has room to fail
~
In early morning light dawns
Help me be gracious and kind
Compassionate and giving
To all that I meet
~
written May 23, 2009
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