I am not afraid

July 8, 2009

 ~~

Written while in the Emergency Room.

~

Death may come today

It’s real and I can touch it

I am not afraid

 

My blood pressure was too high

They said it was dangerous

These kinds of things will kill you

I’m being tested

 

It is just a reminder

This body is wearing out

Death is one thing that happens

To male and female

 

I like who I am

That has not always been so

I’ve learned to forgive

 

It’s not easy to forgive

Yourself and all the others

Changing points of reference

Has opened my eyes

 

l thought I that I knew

Then I knew I did not know

I knew I was lost

Then someone found me searching

Eager to teach me real love

 

There is rest in real silence

I found it in the hallway

Waiting in the hospital

Listening to the sounds

 

Doctors, nurses giving tests

Explaining to me the risks

If I die I know the reason

Why I am not here

 

They do it with smiles

Taking the right precautions

Being kind and thoughtful

They are the real thing

~

My eyes are being opened  

Finding love pursuing me

It is a constant living truth

I cannot deny

  

July 6-7, 2009

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6 Responses to “I am not afraid”

  1. Deanna said

    Terry, we pray the tests will show what needs to be done to control your health problems! God has given doctors many skills, and we are thankful!

  2. Carol Smith Woods said

    I am so thankful you’re going to be fine, don’t scare us like that anymore, I’m old! 🙂 love you and hope to see you all soon.

  3. Vicky said

    Terry,

    I could not tell for sure – but I think you are ok and home from the hospital. I am so glad. Please take care of yourself for your family and those of us that benefit from your presence from afar. I very much have been benefiting from your poetry.

    Sometimes I get discouraged about having MS and now a stomach disorder the has reduced me to a primarily liquid diet. Mostly I am grateful for the health I have and I tarry on cheerfully.

    • Terry Sanford Smith said

      Thank you, Vicky. I just need to take some blood pressure medicine which I got today. I am taking a day of rest. It is good to reconnect, Vicky. You are beloved by our Father and I pray your awareness of his constant healing presence will keep growing stronger in you. His presence gives us reason for cheer.

  4. Savitha said

    Uncle, we need you to guide us get closer to Him…Your poems are so thirst giving. Please take care of your health….

  5. I can relate to this on many levels…not as someone facing serious illness or injury but as someone who has watched a sick, dying woman come to terms with every word in every stanza you’ve written. It really touches me and brings me back to that time when I watched helplessly as doctors and nurses tried to help my family member the best they could.

    And of course, the coming to terms with oneself is disconcerting to those of us who haven’t come to terms with ourselves.

    Oh, and I like the precision of the poem, short stanza, every word is needed. No extras. Love it.

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