path of hope

July 3, 2009

~
I see pain and rejection
I see fear and loneliness
Is there anyone hearing
These were my thoughts

I couldn’t trust the “many”
The voices who claim to know
The answers to my trouble
I began to search

Believing I could find out
Which direction I could take
To keep from repeating
What was given me
 
I decided honesty
With myself and those with me
Is the only way to find
A path I could trust

There’s something about
Just making a decision
Not to repeat history
This decision worked
Set me on a path of hope
Believing that I could think

It makes life interesting
When you find the fire in you
That is larger than your pain
Looking for what is real
 
written June 15, 2008
~

wellspring of hope

July 2, 2009

~
I need a fresh drink
Each morning when I arise
Of eternal hope
~
In the night I am refreshed
With sleep and new beginning
There is an inner wellspring
I’ve learned to draw on
.
I find the hard work
Is to quieten my soul
And listen for truth
~
I must get outside of myself
And test the things that I hear
Be open to new learning
To challenge the fear
~
I have found a place to go
That is restful and certain
It is something I can’t give
Only point the way
.
My loving is not enough
It will fail at its best
But I will never give up
Seeking to improve
~
There is someone who loves me
I have learned “no matter what”
It’s not based on my feelings
They tend to deceive
.
When those I love are hurting
I feel helpless and so grieved
I have no way to fix it
I pray love comes soon
.
My eyes begin the searching
Looking for ways to survive
I finally found one thing
That gives me real hope.
.
written June 14, 2009
.

every morning

July 1, 2009

~

Every morning I arise

And confront the dark places

When I focus they arrive

Challenging the Peace

 

I’ve found that these feelings

I awake with each morning

Were falsely handed to me

From generations

 

Anxiety leads the way

Based on the fears that I have

My desperation hidden

In a secret place

 

These feelings are masked well here

Behind my pride, lust and greed

I know these are all true

About me and maybe you

  

I have learned this truth

Train to daily rest

Under stress my feelings rule

I know what they are

 

Naming my fears has helped me

Writing them down is better

Being honest with myself

I am powerless

 

When I was age twelve

I had figured out my world

How to survive and succeed 

It worked for a while

 

Be a “good boy” all around

“Perform to please the others”

“Be strong and show no weakness”

Then things will go well

 

These are the lies I believed 

My feelings are based on these

The voices that are in me

Are rooted in these

 

They will never go away

This one thing I have learned well

They’ve created a false self

That hurts me and you

 

So I meet them each morning

Allow their voices to speak

I am kind and forgiving

Then put them to sleep

 

A twelve year old will not rule

Who I will be in this day

When the stress arrives

The voice of love will speak

 

written June 30, 2009

~