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There were feelings of no hope

I sank in despair

In silence I ceased striving

Be quiet, be still; love comes

 

Real truth is experienced

It cuts through to all levels

The mind, heart and soul reflected

Light breaks through darkness

 

There is a secret

Where a person does begin

The first step is just simply

Be responsible

For how you think and act

You will find the right questions

 

I have learned life is not fair

I have no control of you

I will decide who I’ll be

I choose to be kind

 

© Terry Smith

written August 31, 2009

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look deeply

August 29, 2009

~
All of my heroes
Failed to give me any hope
At nineteen I fell
Feeling there was no escape
Empty and broken I cried
 
In me was a voice
I heard riveting my soul
Find out what is real
 
No easy answers
Honesty and my passion
To search and to find
What really matters for life
Decided to never give up
 
Find just a few good people
Honestly searching for life
Develop criteria
To test what is true
 
You’ll need your mind, heart, and soul
Engaged in the process
Examine your resources
You must look deeply
 
I have a criteria
To determine what is true
Ask and I’ll tell you
 
© Terry S. Smith
written January 14, 2009
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a quiet miracle

August 27, 2009

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I’m a quiet miracle
Not better than anyone
An ordinary person
Who knows he is loved
 
That’s the miracle
I want to share with others
I know the worth of a person
 
I see that your eyes sparkle
When you feel that you are seen
When you know you have been heard
Touch the spark of joy
 
Here lies the deception
Performing to please others
Will wear yourself out
You can never achieve it
It leads only to “burn out”
 
Surprised by joy
I rose from desperation
Discovered new horizons
 
© Terry S. Smith
written August 27, 2009
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searching for your heart

August 26, 2009

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Love is what pursues
A surprising mystery
At the center of all things
 
I sit in wonder
I am so thirsty for life
I respond to love daily
 
We have been given a mind
Our responsibility
Is to search for what is true
A life decision
 
Find out what is real
A seeking heart will save you
The truth will free you
 
You will know it when you find
Peace within you will define
The reality of love
Searching for your heart
 
© Terry S. Smith
written September 29, 2008
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train for life

August 25, 2009

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I can be bitter or bold
Bold to find another way
Or bitter looking at you
I will make the choice
I can blame others
It will take my energy
I can choose love
It will open up a wellspring
A surprising love shows up
You say “I tried that”
I learned that trying doesn’t work
I train to focus
On loving the other ones
Who are closest to me
When I choose to train for life
There is a strange mystery
In choosing to love others
I see I am loved
Look around and see
In the world all around you
In quiet, love speaks
© Terry S. Smith
written September 29, 2008
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sweetness to the soul

August 24, 2009

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There is something sweet

A gift to all who will ask

It is called wisdom

 

It is sweetness to the soul

It connects knowledge with life

It gives timing and rhythm

To relationships

 

Another word for wisdom

Is “insight” into your soul

Understanding is the key

Respect for yourself

 

I cannot give to others

What I do not have in me

I will seek to gain knowledge

How to live in peace

 

When I look to other

To find that peace and resting

I find it always eludes

They are just like me

 

Each looking to get

Something they do not have

Looking for the other one

To give them that love

Both discover emptiness

Disillusioned and hurting

 

You do have a gift

A treasure that’s within you

Rise up and seek it

 

You must take courage

Find the fire that’s within you

Do not make friends with your pain

You decide to live

Be responsible for you

And give with no strings attached

 

You are bigger than your pain

It’s a mystery I know

I lived in desperation

Found peace in the pain

 

I have learned that honesty

With myself and all others

Gives a transparency and

Good conversation 

~
written August 24, 2009 
 

These reflections came out of my response to ancient Proverbs 24Over the  years, I have found myself in “conversation” with King Solomon, the author of the book of Proverbs.

 

“Know also that wisdom is sweet to your soul; and your hope will not be cut off.”

 

“An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.”

~

~

One of the places

There seems to be confusion

Making marriage last 

 

Forty-four years of marriage

With someone opposite me

Has been a problem to solve

How can she like me

 

She said, “I do not like you”

I said, “I do not like you back”

Now we have a problem

So what do we do

 

We have four children

Responsibilities here

Children we love and care for

Will the past dictate

 

My parents divorced

They could not figure it out

The children suffered greatly

So what do I do

I decided to face me

To see my problem not hers

 

I wanted us to be friends

The way it all started out

In seeking I understand

Barriers in me

 

 

I must deal with my issues

Seek understanding of me

Study personality

I needed insight

 

So the first place to begin

You must decide who you are

The person you want to be

Then state it clearly

  

Solitude is hard

It is part of the journey

Beginning with me

  

written August 22, 2009

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Life fully present

August 21, 2009

~
I love life with awareness
Of what really matters here
It’s larger than our thinking
Life fully present
 
How can one live in the now
Not robbed by the past deep hurt
Or fearful of the future
There is an answer
 
It is not easy
Because we are what we think
Space to examine
To observe how we process
Life’s most important issues
 
I create space to stop thinking
To detach and be quiet
Aware of another world
Above my ego
   
written February 14, 2009
 

a treasure

August 20, 2009

~
When I consider my story
Looking back at the choices
There is one that changed my life
I looked for real love
 
Yes, I found it real
A love that welcomed me in
We shared a deep common ground
The soil of our souls was joy
A treasure we both had found
A rich higher love
 
We now have years behind us
To give away to others
We are learning to follow
Freedom, joy and peace
 
It’s available to all
No one is excluded here
All it takes is one person
Listening for love
 
written February 14, 2009
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Charlotte and Terry

Charlotte and Terry

 

I remember when I saw her
Briskly walking approaching
With an energy and joy
 
Her greeting was electric
My soul leapt surprised by joy
I wanted to know her name
They called her “Charlotte”
 
It was a rainy evening
I was walking behind her
I gave up my umbrella
I asked her for cover
 
She was kind and receiving
I bought her an ice cream cone
Then walked her back to the dorm
Graciously said “Bye”
 
The thing that impressed me most
She was kind to everyone
I was looking for someone
Who reflected love
 
I wanted to be her friend
Friendship does not make demands
Nor does it try to possess
It gives with no strings attached
 
We would laugh a lot
Our hearts felt lighter and free
We both had the same focus
A love larger than us
 
written October 18, 2008
for my beautiful wife
 

real joy

August 15, 2009

~
I do know real joy
Along the way I have found it
My greatest treasure
Drink deeply from this great joy
Practice its presence daily
 
What pleasure it is to wake
To joy in the morning hour (early dawn)
A joy much larger than pain
A love beyond words
 
Laughter is a good life sign
Good cheer the right medicine
For those we meet on the way
Lightness brings the light
 
I find great freedom
In living for just one thing
A joy to be told
I know it is a mystery
Ask someone who lives it well
 
written spring 2009
 ~

my parents

August 14, 2009

~
They were too young to marry
Nineteen and sixteen
With so little direction
Stuck adolescents
 
No tools to navigate life
No compass to guide them well
No awareness of the sail
Tossed on open seas
 
When the storms of life hit hard
Bad decisions sunk the ship
The children thrown overboard
Confused and alone
 
The mother was lost at sea
The father stayed close to help
Giving all he had to care
Relatives helped with love
 
Survival became my way
Tossing on the sea of pain
With no words to speak the shame
Desperate for love
 
Looking back I see the light
Of God’s love surrounding me
Meeting every need
Keeping me safe and secure
Helping me survive the storm
 
written January 19, 2009
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~
My Dad
 
I grew up hearing his stories
but not this story
of being forgotten
 
his mother left him many times
before the final leaving
she took her children to the movie theatre
(age seven, five, and four)
leaving them there alone
choosing wine and party
 
they waited hours after the movie
for her to remember and return
a kind man had compassion
and waited with them
 
my heart travels to the past
and breaks
for the loneliness,
the pain,
the future abandonment
waiting around the corner
 
looking at them
I can see their future
I know the amazing things
they will accomplish
because they will be captured
by One who rescues hearts
 
written August 11-12, 2009
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tender care

August 11, 2009

~
I have received tender care
Looking back I see people
Little things that meant a lot
 
Ina Reed was her name
The game was “tiddlywinks”
There was focused attention
Love at five years old
 
My mother left her children
Four of us she forgot
Secret friends came to help
I know not their names
 
Friends were the surprise
When I decided to seek
Their kindness drew me
 
No one told me how to live
They showed me with their life
Seeing is better than words
I wanted to know
 
written August 29, 2008
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Foundation

August 10, 2009

~
Each life has a foundation
You must carefully choose it
Because the life storms will come
You will stand or fall
 
Choose your counsel well
Understanding is the key
Knowledge will give you freedom
Perseverance is a must
 
The heart, mind, and soul
Have to be fully engaged
You will need all three
 
What are the issues
Be specific and name them
I know fear is one
Anxiety will crush you
Who can speak to this
 
There are no easy answers
No formulas to fix it
But there’s a way to process
With knowledge and time
 
written July 28, 2009
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