An Unspoken Dream and A Christmas Story
December 24, 2010
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An unspoken dream
That is in everyone
A longing within
This dream articulated
In universal language
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I had a dream as a child
I wanted a home with peace
An atmosphere of loving care
To celebrate life
~
Moments of oneness
I remember them so well
Laughter and playing
Learning a rhythm of joy
Experienced in the child
~
I got a glimpse of it
The first seven years of life
Playing ball with the neighbors
Being held with love
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Children need a holding place
Of personal tender care
Where they feel safe and secure
Untouched by trouble
~
The home is the place
Where joy is at the center
Laughter the result
Forgiveness reigns all around
The freedom to discover
~
I will tell the world
That peace is within their reach
What you need first is desire
Then a clear vision
If it is there you will find it
Relationships that flourish
~
I’ll never give up
Living peace and sharing it
It is my great joy
~
Those who want to know
Who are searching with their heart
Will certainly find
It will take your best thinking
Then faith and courage to act
~
It is in practicing
The things that you know are true
You’ll discover more
~
There are daily practices
I’ve discovered on the way
That are essential to me
For living in joy
~
I awoke from a dream this morning, with my heart going out to the children who long to be held, and to experience home as a safe place. I felt that safety as a little child, although my parents as teenagers did not know how to provide it. There was extended family, (and neighbors) who provided this safety until my family unit fell apart. I believe there is a longing in everyone to find a place of peace where joy sits at the center. I want to be a part of pointing the way to this authentic life that is available to all. These reflections came out of my dream last night, and after meditating on Proverbs 20 and John 15.
© Terry S. Smith
*****************************************************
The following article and picture appeared on the front page of the Burlington Daily Times on December 24, 1985, in metropolitan Boston, Massachusetts.
A Christmas Story – December 24, 1985
A man painfully remembers: years of confusion, guilt, and learning to survive in a world where hate and fear consumed his childhood.
When he was seven years old, his mother stood on the hood of the car, kicked the windshield in and cursed the boy’s father to hell.
When the boy was eight, divorce and alcoholism robbed him of his mother. The parent’s failure, anger, and hate tore the relationship apart and another family unit fragmented.
This is a story about a mother and son coming together after eighteen years, and about the One who stirred their hearts into a love that brought healing and hope to a once broken relationship.
~
~
I had always wondered about her. She was beautiful, but many of my memories were painful, reinforced by my father’s hatred for her. While I was growing up, he cut me off from anyone who cared about her.
Then during my last year of graduate school, I found where she lived, discovering that in a city of 600,000 people, I was driving past her house daily.
Should I go see her? What would she be like now? She would be forty-five years old. Could I understand this woman who left four young children, never again to be involved in their childhood?
She didn’t know who I was when my wife and I knocked on her door in October of 1968. But a new journey began.
Her story was hard. She had married at sixteen, had three children before age twenty-one. She married five times, was an alcoholic, and currently was living with a man who was not her husband.
She hated herself. She had attempted suicide by cutting her throat, jumping out of a car going eighty miles an hour, and by putting a gun to her head and pulling the trigger.
But, the gun misfired. It fell on the floor, blowing a hole in the wall. She lived!
The reunion with her son helped her to realize she could start over again. She began to fight! But it was like trying to climb a greased slide. My family — a wife and two babies — now included this woman, my mother, who, after wanting to die all these years, now had a desire to live.
The failure I experienced in my childhood caused me to pursue the field of counseling to learn how to live in relationships, and not make the same mistakes my parents made. There had to be a way to live in this world and not be victimized by failure, anger, insecurity and guilt.
People can come back together and healing can take place in relationships. But how? How could this woman ever have forgiven herself for leaving her children? How could the children have ever forgiven her for abandoning them?
As a family counselor in Burlington, I have chosen, for a model, one person in history who knew how to love and treat human beings. I find very few people who have read his life. Not many are willing to give and extend mercy toward those who hurt them. Not many are willing to say: “I am wrong!”; “I am sorry!”; “Forgive me!”
The little baby whose birthday the world celebrates at this time of the year grew up to be a man. He met a woman at the well who had been married five times and was living with a man not her husband. The man at the well treated the woman with dignity, respect, consideration, and compassion. It changed her life.
The angels announced at his birth that he has come to bring good tidings of great joy. The woman at the well experienced it the day she met him. I have tested it on the streets of the twentieth century and it holds today. My mother found hope, forgiveness, and new beginnings because this man’s evaluation of human worth represented by the heart of the God and Father of us all.
Our challenge at this season is to look past the commercialism of Christmas. To look beyond the religious ritual, and to sense the mystery of the One who came among us to demonstrate and to give a new quality of life.
I’ve just returned from a family wedding. It was the first time in thirty-five years the family was together. My mother flew back with us, and will celebrate her first New England Christmas with me and my family. We realize that we owe this reunion to the One whose perspective on life continues to bring into a dark world hope and light.
Our hearts are full of thanksgiving as we celebrate the reality of his presence.
**************************************************
My mother died in the year 2000, at the age seventy-seven. She experienced in her heart, soul, and mind, the joy of God’s peace.
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Cry of My Heart
December 6, 2010
Extravagant love
August 31, 2010
~
My voice is silenced
With this massive loss of Liz
I have no language
~
I need words of hope
I’m searching for the voices
That will speak the truth
~
Liz LaVelle’s life speaks!
She is God’s voice to us today
Her life rings out with passion!
Spontaneous joy!
Our hearts are grieved beyond words
Comfort those nearest and dear
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One voice comes with Power
One voice speaks to death’s darkness
One voice with authority
“You will never die!”
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Today we don’t grieve for Liz,
We grieve for us, our great loss
She lives, we’ll see her again
How do we go on now?
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We draw near to You
You have sought us and found us
Broken and seeking
~
There is one who comes
I cannot explain this love
It’s bigger than death
The words of Jesus bring life
Breathe hope into my spirit
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To Liz’s precious family:
You will see Liz face to face
Jesus keeps His promises
Let him comfort you
~
To Liz’s friends:
Let Liz’s life be remembered
Let her voice be heard by all
God is real…and He loves you!
His love is extreme
~
Christ lives in the human heart
Little children saw God’s face
As Liz loved, touched, and cherished
She saw the children
God’s gentleness calls
All of us to stop and think,
What really matters?
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Liz knew what mattered
Her cup was full of His joy
Her life invites us
To arise and say, “thank you”
Love God, and one another
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Liz’s word to all of us:
Do not weep for me
I cannot come to you now,
You can come to me
Let God’s Spirit comfort you
Draw near each day to His heart
~
Extravagant love
He always keeps His promise
Please accept this treasured gift
Then give it away
Joy comes in obeying Him
Love each other as God loves
~
Please see the children
The ones who’ve been abandoned
God is here to comfort you
Raise you up in love
~
Terry S. Smith
August 31, 2010
~
inadequate words
July 29, 2010
Space
June 13, 2010
searching
March 3, 2010
seeing life
March 2, 2010
~
The Dancing
February 19, 2010
Heritage
January 13, 2010
Miraculous decisions
December 29, 2009
A Christmas Story
December 24, 2009
This picture and article appeared on the front page of the Burlington Daily Times on December 24, 1985, in metropolitan Boston. My mother died in the year 2000, at the age seventy-seven connected in the heart, soul, and mind with the joy of His peace.
~
A Christmas Story
A man painfully remembers: years of confusion, guilt, and learning to survive in a world where hate and fear consumed his childhood.
When he was six years old, his mother stood on the hood of the car, kicked the windshield in and cursed the boy’s father to hell.
When the boy was eight, divorce and alcoholism robbed him of his mother. The parent’s failure, anger, and hate tore the relationship apart and another family unit fragmented.
This is a story about a mother and son coming together after eighteen years, and about the One who stirred their hearts into a love that brought healing and hope to a once broken relationship.
~
~
I had always wondered about her. She was beautiful, but many of my memories were painful, reinforced by my father’s hatred for her. While I was growing up, he cut me off from anyone who cared about her.
Then during my last year of graduate school, I found where she lived, discovering that in a city of 600,000 people, I was driving past her house daily.
Should I go see her? What would she be like now? She would be forty-five years old. Could I understand this woman who left four young children, never again to be involved in their childhood?
She didn’t know who I was when my wife and I knocked on her door in October of 1968. But a new journey began.
Her story was hard. She had married at sixteen, had three children before age twenty-one. She married five times, was an alcoholic, and currently was living with a man who was not her husband.
She hated herself. She had attempted suicide by cutting her throat, jumping out of a car going eighty miles an hour, and by putting a gun to her head and pulling the trigger.
But, the gun misfired. It fell on the floor, blowing a hole in the wall. She lived!
The reunion with her son helped her to realize she could start over again. She began to fight! But it was like trying to climb a greased slide. My family — a wife and two babies — now included this woman, my mother, who, after wanting to die all these years, now had a desire to live.
The failure I experienced in my childhood caused me to pursue the field of counseling to learn how to live in relationships, and not make the same mistakes my parents made. There had to be a way to live in this world and not be victimized by failure, anger, insecurity and guilt.
People can come back together and healing can take place in relatiionships. But how? How could this woman ever have forgiven herself for leaving her children? How could the children have ever forgiven her for abandoning them?
As a family counselor in Burlington, I have chosen, for a model, one person in history who knew how to love and treat human beings. I find very few people who have read his life. Not many are willing to give and extend mercy toward those who hurt them. Not many are willing to say: “I am wrong!”; “I am sorry!”; “Forgive me!”
The little baby whose birthday the world celebrates at this time of the year grew up to be a man. He met a woman at the well who had been married five times and was living with a man not her husband. The man at the well treated the woman with dignity, respect, consideration, and compassion. It changed her life.
The angels announced at his birth that he has come to bring good tidings of great joy. The woman at the well experienced it the day she met him. I have tested it on the streets of the twentieth century and it holds today. My mother found hope, forgiveness, and new beginnings because this man’s evaluation of human worth represented by the heart of the God and Father of us all.
Our challenge at this season is to look past the commercialism of Christmas. To look beyond the religious ritual, and to sense the mystery of the One who came among us to demonstrate and to give a new quality of life.
I’ve just returned from a family wedding. It was the first time in thirty-five years the family was together. My mother flew back with us, and will celebrate her first New England Christmas with me and my family. We realize that we owe this reunion to the One whose perspective on life continues to bring into a dark world hope and light.
Our hearts are full of thanksgiving as we celebrate the reality of his presence.
~
the way to joy
December 11, 2009
A gentle hand touches me
A loving smile embraces
I respond with gratitude
Overwhelmed with joy
Each day is a mystery
Who can know what it will bring
I will begin with laughter
Peace comes in the pain
The journey is hard
Easy answers do not work
The trouble is real
My parents failed me
They did not love each other
Home, not a safe place
Their parents failed them also
The cycle must be broken
It’s time to stop the death run
I will start with me
Somebody needs to live it
To reveal the way to joy
Forgiveness stops the cycle
Love will overcome
I’ll be a victim no more
By decisions of others
Responsibility’s mine
Which way I will go
a tribute to my wife
November 16, 2009
Legacy
September 5, 2009
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Can anyone speak to life
How do I break the cycle
Handed down by my dad
Is there a model
It’s the hardest thing to find
I found that in my despair
I clarified my questions
Set my mind to life
I knew what I did not want
Can I find another way
Will my children weep like me
Can I give them love
I’ve seen despair win
Rob people from being loved
I am determined
To bring light, life and loving
In view of all that I meet
The path that I choose
Will impact generations
I know this is true
We all leave a legacy
A life that we will pass on
I will not be uninformed
I’ll engage my mind
© Terry S. Smith
written September 5, 2009
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creating a marriage that lasts
August 22, 2009
~
One of the places
There seems to be confusion
Making marriage last
Forty-four years of marriage
With someone opposite me
Has been a problem to solve
How can she like me
She said, “I do not like you”
I said, “I do not like you back”
Now we have a problem
So what do we do
We have four children
Responsibilities here
Children we love and care for
Will the past dictate
My parents divorced
They could not figure it out
The children suffered greatly
So what do I do
I decided to face me
To see my problem not hers
I wanted us to be friends
The way it all started out
In seeking I understand
Barriers in me
I must deal with my issues
Seek understanding of me
Study personality
I needed insight
So the first place to begin
You must decide who you are
The person you want to be
Then state it clearly
Solitude is hard
It is part of the journey
Beginning with me
written August 22, 2009
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