Awake Expecting

January 8, 2015

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Awake expecting
To hear things you need to hear
From your Creator
Speak to my heart, soul and mind
Let love dominate my life

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Human beings live
As reflections of your heart
We look just like you
No wonder you love us so much
Even though we have failed you

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You bestow honor
And glory on all of us
Made in your image
At conception it’s given
Love never stops pursuing

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My guilt is heavy
A burden too much to bear
Failure consumes me
Wounds fester and bring sickness
To my soul, body and mind

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I sit in mourning
Feeble and utterly crushed
This searing pain comes
I groan with anguish of heart
My longings lay before you

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My sighing is not hidden
“My heart pounds, my strength fails me”
The light has gone from my eyes
No friends are in sight

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Neighbors stay away
Traps are set to destroy me
Deception is all around
I’m blind to your light

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I’m like a deaf man
Whose mouth offers no reply
With no voice to speak

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The reason I love
God found me in this condition
Lifted me out of the hell
Came looking for me
He found me in the darkness
Gently led me to the light

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God is pursuing you now
Be still, focus and listen
Choose the voice you trust
One tested in history
Gave his life that we might live

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I confess my wrongs
My iniquity is great
I am troubled by my sin
Hated without cause
Slandered when I seek the good
O Lord, do not forsake me

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Lord, you are not far
In my darkest hour you came
Opened my eyes to see love
Touched my very soul
Gave me a language to hear
Your Spirit to know the joy

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These promises were fulfilled
Stated in Psalm sixty-eight
We would all do well to look
And believe His word

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Our God is a God who saves
Who daily bears our burdens
From him we escape from death
My heart fills with praise

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I will never forget where I came from and the darkness I lived and grew up in this world. Hope against hope was the surprise that is not only for me but is for everyone. These reflections came in response to Psalm 8, 38, 68, 98 and 128.

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You Are His Delight

January 7, 2015

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God searches the minds and hearts
Brings an end to violence
He makes the righteous secure
With forgiving love

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Trust in the Lord and do good
Delight yourself in the Lord
The desires of your heart come
As surely as breath

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Commit your way to the Lord
Trust in him and he will do this
His life will shine like the dawn
Break forth in your soul

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Be still before God
Wait patiently for guidance
Stop all the fretting
It leads only to evil
History tells us this truth

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Anger will kill you
The toxic part can destroy
Learn to channel it
By loving your enemy
The first place to start is you

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The meek inherit the land
Flourish in relationship
Look to the best interest
Of those closest to you

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The result will be peace
That passes understanding
So it is time to grow up
Be responsible
Stop blaming self and others
You hold the key to find life

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God will hold you up
I know this is true for sure
I have tasted this
By practicing His Presence
Walking in the light of love

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God delights in you
When you believe, wisdom comes
There is a future for you
His kindness and peace
Comes when you trust His love
Surrender all of the lies

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These reflections from Psalm 37 come from choosing how I will process this life. There are many views of life one can take. I chose to trust the God David spoke of in the Psalms. As a result I discovered an unshakable life filled with hope in the midst of the worst possible circumstances. Psalms has been like a mother to me over the last fifty years. The promises in this book I have found to be true, practical and life giving beyond words.

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My journey is told in the book “Delta Blues From Darkness to Light.” http://www.coachinglifematters.com/delta-blues.html

Best Friend Conversations

January 2, 2015

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Good conversation
Is a gift I want to have
With those I love most
I will include the stranger
And, also, my enemy

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Who will be my friend
I will be looking today
Ready to respond
Open to this adventure
Love with no expectations

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This I know is the hardest
For we wrong one another
Get offended easily
I know where to start

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I will start with me
The one I sleep with each night
This is the hardest
The one I offend a lot
I’m the one I hurt the most

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I found the secret
A way to forgive myself
To have a conversation
That’s gentle and kind
A way to love even me
In the darkness of my soul

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Ready for the ride
Mutual conversation
Is what I’m committed to
It’s the missing part
So I will not medicate
Keep doing the counterfeit

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I will like sleeping with myself
I have no choice about that
I will befriend my own soul
I’ll live in that joy

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I’ll take away the judgment
With real authenticity
I’ll train to forgive myself
And the one near me

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It is possible to live this. It is possible to overcome the darkness of the wounded soul and discover the joy. The impossible is possible when the deep soul decision is made to live and not die. Deciding to fight for my life is the most important decision I have made. I had to begin by caring about me. At that point I began to pay attention to my questions. Taking that responsibility has led me to discovering how to live in joy over the past fifty-three years. The pain, the reality of my own failure toward others and their failure to me is the most difficult road to navigate.

The best book I recommend to kick start this conversation was written by Jim Woodroof “Sayings that Saved My Sanity.” Write me and I will tell you how to get it. May all the best conversations take place for you in 2015. Your Story Matters http://www.yourstorymatters2him.com

Light

December 27, 2014

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To say I’ll walk in the light
Brings me joy and great sorrow
Because I can remember
And I am aware

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When I walked in the darkness
I was blind and did damage
To myself and other ones
This is the problem

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I lost some good friends
Who gave to me from the heart
I took and did not return
Give back the love gift
I know I’m hard on myself
That is still all about me

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Growing up is hard
When one misses the stages
Others will suffer
Maturing comes through the pain
The trials and the hardships

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What is good in me is this
I was looking for the light
Darkness is what held me captive
My tears called his love

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Confusion and the chaos
Growing up was the challenge
Navigating the losses
Is what each must do
No one escapes the darkness
No one can hide from the light

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Moments of silence
In the abandonment years
Came my life questions
Suicides, alcohol, grief
Love entered in little ways

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Pinholes of light came
Little kindnesses given
A smile and a gentle word
Of affirmation
Were the surprising moments
Were embraced with great delight

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Light brings the delight
Forgiveness breaks through with joy
For myself and the others
This love was revealed to me
Through the life of Jesus Christ

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He led with real compassion
His gentleness drew me in
Religion orchestrated
Making sure he died

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He died a horrible death
I cannot even fathom
The magnitude of this loss
Love it represents

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He is my pinhole of light
My failure as a human
Is connected to his death
And resurrection

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I have peace today
Forgiving myself right now
Forgiving others
Accepting the light of his love
And giving it to others

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I’ll make no demands on you
We can be a reflection
But not the reality
God is near to love

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These secret truths are revealed all along the way in the process of growing up and deciding to never give up! There is so much to learn on the journey and I hope to never stop learning. One thing I am determined to do is never stop moving toward the light even in the darkest hour. The movie “Unbroken” is a good example of light coming in the darkness and the power of never giving up. Love never fails. It must start with me and not the other person. Forgiveness opens the window of the human heart to the light of inexpressible joy!

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“Delta Blues From Darkness to LIght” can be reviewed on Amazon and is $0.99 cents on Kindle. It is my story of the painful but hopeful process of continuing to discover light.

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Christmas Wonder

December 25, 2014

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I sit in wonder
Looking back I see it
Generational darkness
And pinholes of light
The tragedy and the pain
The sorrow that led to joy

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The relational chaos
Can be seen on the I-Phone
Looking for a connection
Missing the person

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With eyes on the hand
Holding the person captive
Not seeing my eyes
Longing for a connection
To be seen as a person

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I’ll lay the phone down
Turn it off and look around
Not miss the moment
The eyes and the warm embrace
Surprising moments of joy

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More information
Life lived vicariously
Technology is worshiped
Junk food of the mind
Robbing us connection
With the real and life giving

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I will text you now
And give an invitation
To come share a joy
Know the beauty of looking
In the eyes of the One who loves

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I have learned in the morning before I look at my I-Phone, turn on the computer and check my email to be still and look in the face of the Father who sees. The unseen is the real just like love. You know when it is not there and you know it when it is. Turn your mind, heart and soul to the One who can stop the noise and chaos and give you peace. Today people around the world are looking for gifts. One has been given you and you have only to be still, listen and believe. Readings this morning that has been helpful to me in stopping the “junk food” noise from generations are the following: “My Utmost for His Highest” by Oswald Chambers, “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young. Psalm 25:14 speaks of a God who will “confide in you” and Psalm 55:22 says “Cast your burden on the Lord and he will sustain you.” Looking back I see the generational darkness and I now see the generational light revealed that day God was born in the world as a baby. May the real wonder of Christmas be yours today! Merry Christmas!

A Christmas Gift

December 24, 2014

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I’ve received a gift
It’s the divine grace of faith
I offer myself
My mind will be your workshop
My heart will be your playground

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My soul flourishes
I will be God’s workmanship
His poetry in this world
Living with a fire
Accessing this deep friendship
Gift available to all

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Please form Christ in me
I will be engaged in truth
Feelings will not deter me
I accept your love

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Christmas Truth

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The littlest child
Hidden in a manger still
I sing “Silent Night”

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The light of the world
Coming down to bring real joy
Unending love given all
Who will believe it
Historically certain
It is verifiable

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Please consider this story
Don’t take others word for it
Religious or atheist
You can decide this

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Consider all things
Get all the information
Respect your judgment
Listen to your broken heart
Listen to the heart of God

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I’m given a mind
A heart, soul and a body
Time to consider
What is true – what is not true
I have chosen to believe

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The littlest child
Hidden in a manger
Was the Son of God
I am alive to live it
I am free to share the joy

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Death has no power
I have chosen where to stand
A resurrection
Has taken place in my soul
Both now and forever more

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One Word Challenge

January 1, 2014

 

A teachable spirit comes
When you focus on one thing
That one thing will guide your ways
Be clear what that is

What is the one thing
I know what it is for me
Bring it to one word
~
Yes, boil it down to one word
It’s the window to my soul
Join me and come up with yours
I’ll encourage you
~
No resolutions
Just one word to guide your heart
That will challenge your thinking

Inspire you to act
To do what is good and right
That will lead you to the joy

Last year my word was “action.” This year it is different. If you want to join me in this exercise, I would be delighted.   You can share yours if you please. Happy New Year and all the best to you on your journey, my friends.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:4
My word for the year is “Presence.”  
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Anchor Point

December 28, 2013

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I will choose an anchor point

A way to look at the world

A way to look at myself

And other people

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There is a fresh spring

Of living water to drink

Each morning I arise with

A thirst for real life

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There is a fresh joy

An intimacy given

To those who seek truth

The transcendent will show up

In surprising ways and times

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Develop the discipline

Trust the process not yourself

Have faith in something bigger

And never give up

Looking for the unseen truths

That give insight to the soul

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I build space, reflecting

I choose the focus of life

That’s a privilege I have

I will trust in someone

The question: “Who will that be?”

I’m responsible for that

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The people were delighted

Seeing the wonderful things

Love demonstrated

For the broken and lonely

For the sick and afflicted

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One man has captured my heart

He told about the mustard seed

That grew into a tall plant

How leaven changed things

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Reflections written after reading Luke 13 out loud, and meditating on the following thoughts.

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“God is our refuge and strength,

an ever present help in trouble.

Therefore I will not fear, though the

the earth give way

and the mountains fall into the

heart of the sea,

though its waters roar and foam

and the mountains quake with

their surging.”   Psalm 46:1-3

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“Blessed are those who learned to

acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence.”  Psalm 89:15

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Question:  What are some surprising ways the transcendent has showed up for you?

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Finding what matters

I’ve discovered a secret

Being still and quiet

Listening in the morning

To the dawn chorus singing

 =

I think about the reason

What is my purpose today

Recognizing reality

This may be my last

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I will focus on one thing

Do the will of my Father

Be intentional and act

On the greatest truth

 

Love as you’ve been loved

Give as you’ve been given to

Little things mean alot

Give no strings attached

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The Greatest Thing in the World by Henry Drummond

I John; Psalm 20; Luke 1:79

Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

The Soul Wound

June 28, 2013

No one knows the pain
Of the soul wound of others
But I can listen
 
I will not give up
Seeking to participate
In loving others
 
Only two commands matter
Loving God is the first one
Loving each other is next
Give me a pure heart

The deepest soul wound
Unspeakable tragedy
Is understood by your God
He shares the same wound

Betrayed by his friends
Who thought they knew who they were
Jealousy and strife
They were awakened by love
Friendship indescribable

This story I tell
After listening to the wound
The soul wound fully expressed
Given space to heal
In the safety of true friends
Peace passes understanding

Soaking

January 8, 2013

I’ll soak in your thoughts

Remember the things you say

Write them on my heart

Please light the flame in my soul

Let it burn for you today

 

I will enter your throne room

In quiet and wait for you

I am so slow to hear you

You words are simple

 

I’ll act on your words

Reflect, only you are God

I’ll light the candle of hope

Receive your mercy

Accept your peace in the storm

Receive your gentle presence

 

Gratitude fills me

I choose to believe the truth

He’s stored life for me

In the sight of all mankind

My cup overflows with love

 

“The words I speak are Spirit”

His words are light to my soul

I believe them like a son

Holding Father’s hand

Going out not knowing

Trusting He will lead the way

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My Utmost for His Higest – January 3

Jesus Calling by Sarah Young – January 3

Psalm 31:19-20; John 6:33, 16:33; Psalm 97:2,3,20,11

 “When a man gets to God, it is by most simple ways—words.”  Oswald Chambers

 

I Light Up My House

December 29, 2012

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This morning I lit a candle. I dropped to my knees.  I said The Lord’s Prayer  slowly and thoughtfully, meditating on the words: “Father,” “kingdom,” “your will,” “on earth as it is in heaven,” “forgiveness” and “temptation.”  Then I moved into a focused reading of Psalms 16, contemplating David’s interaction with God.  As I did these things, a metaphor came to me.

 

My body is the tabernacle of God.  Mentally, I go throughout the tabernacle lighting the candles in each room.  The light of love from the Father illuminates the main room.  As I move from room to room, I light the candle that brightens its darkness.  I light the candles of peace in each room.  Forgiveness is the brightest light that brings the gentle presence of God with his awareness of my story.  The candle of joy is lit and affirms the power of His indwelling presence that will never leave or forsake me.  The rooms are filled with comfort as the light illuminates the deep grief and loss I have no words for ….  Then there is the candle of hope, the certainty of a God who will always keep all of His promises.

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My temptation is to let all the noise of my heart, coming from the dark rooms, draw me into action, before I let the light in that guides me in this treacherous wonder-filled journey.  I then awaken to the joy of the house I live in and continually listen to the counsel I receive.

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“God is light and in him is no darkness at all.”

 I John 1:5

*Tabernacle=dwelling place

Wisdom Available

October 4, 2012

To find the treasure

Ear – listen for wisdom

Eye – search with great intent

Heart – apply the understanding

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Then you’ll understand

What it means to revere God

Gain knowledge of God

You’ll discover the wisdom

Embrace the insights

 

You’re my shield, O God

Your righteousness –  my protector

I walk in your peace

Your promises restore me

Your Divine Power saves me

Psalm 7:10     

 

I will trust in you

With all my heart I seek you

It’s you I believe

You have never forsaken

Those who seek with all their heart

Psalm 9: 9,10

 

Is there room for God

Pride can fill up the heart

Lust will poison it

Greed causes one to act out

These three things bring great destruction

 

God helps the fatherless ones

Breaks the arm of the wicked

The Lord is King forever

You rule with mercy

 

Proverbs 2; Psalms 6-10;

Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

70th Birthday

July 9, 2012

 

Who is this God, my Father

He is mighty in power

No limit to His insight

His understanding

 

He heals the brokenhearted

And He binds up the wounded

He knows the number of stars

Each of them by name

 

Listening and gentleness

Understanding your story

Then focusing on God’s story

You’ll find peace and hope

 

Come out of the pit

Open my eyes to what’s true

The unfailing love of God

Will be my delight

It’s where I place my hope

Lead me to those who are seeking

 

Each person is free to decide

But He will sustain the humble

I have chosen to listen

Focus on true love

 

I need wisdom & insight

I seek it with all my heart

I’ll define myself

By the one who gives me life

Who demonstrated His love

 
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His tongue brings healing
The fruit of the tree brings life
Deceitful words crush

The lips of the wise
Spread knowledge and bring real hope
Pursue righteousness
You will find how loved you are
What delight in you God has

A cheerful heart celebrates
Sees the beauty, finds the hope
She cannot be defeated
Love’s at the center

A man of understanding
Listens with great compassion
Seeks counsel for direction
Then obeys the Lord

His path will be straight
Find joy in giving true words
A timely reply

Her path leads upward
He’ll climb every mountain
Joy will lead the way
Courage, wisdom and compassion
Death itself will be destroyed

The Lord listens to prayers
Those who seek with all their heart
Revere the Lord above all
Joy will fill your heart

Written in Jerusalem, April 16, 2012
How much better to get wisdom than gold, understanding rather than silver! Proverbs 16:16
 

Dedicated to my granddaughter Maia, on her ninth birthday