Friends in Flight
July 4, 2013
We are friends in flight
We’ll follow the lead pilot
Our gaze riveted
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Our mission is clear
Being empowered by love
Filled with compassion
Flying in tight formation
We enter with confidence
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With the speed of light
We penetrate the darkness
With hope and real joy
In the midst of suffering
We break the pain barrier
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Our Lead models how
He shows us how to be real
This kingdom treasure
Has awakened me to joy
I choose to sell all to find
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Courage needed now
In radical discipline
Encouraged by this love
To move with real faith
Beside wisdom in the darkness
Showing trust in his Presence
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Freedom for the prisoners
Sight for those who are blinded
Good news for those who are poor
Release the oppressed
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He will lead us in
To accomplish His mission
Light penetrating darkness
Healing the soul inside out
Available to all who come
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This writing is dedicated to Larry Malone, retired Navy Captain who flew a A-6 Intruder off the USS Enterprise during the Viet Nam War. Larry models for me the healing process of a deep soul wound. He along with many gave himself to war for our country. He came out with a deep soul wound as result of the “death transactions” he was called to participate in as a young man. They equipped him to fight but he was not equipped to deal with the internal wound that he came out with. His story tells the healing process through the years.
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He is now a “friend in flight.” We fly as wingmen to the Jesus our lead pilot. On this day when people of this nation celebrate the freedom, I honor Larry and so many who gave their lives courageously. Larry returned to fight a different war, a war of the soul. He now is fighting for the young men and women who experienced this deep “soul wound” he understands.
Thank you, Larry, my friend in flight.
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My friend Genma also highlighted Larry on her blog and radio show:
http://genmaspeaks.blogspot.com/2013/07/vietnam-navy-pilot-larry-malone-on.html
The Language of Tears
June 17, 2012
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The voices that I hear
Are the ones who are not speaking
Their silence is screaming out
I do know their pain
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Suffering is the teacher
It is one I did not choose
Desperation silenced me
I now have language
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All along the way
People have arisen here
I did not know I needed
Their voices touched me
Their presence ignited me
A fire lit up my soul
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Friendship sets me free
To listen to the heartbreak
And wait in silence
Compassion invites me in
Only my tears tell my heart
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It is the language of tears
It is my deepest desire
To make real what is the truth
Extravagant love
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Dedicated to Julie
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Those who died for freedom
May 28, 2012
A little Kindling for the Soul
December 24, 2011
Remembering 9/11
September 11, 2011
There are many stories of kindness and heroism rising out of the tragedy of September 11, 2001, but you don’t hear many stories about the dogs that helped in the search for survivors. On a recent trip to New Hampshire for the Heartbeat Retreat, I met an impressive man, Gary M. Jobes. Gary was one of the fireman called to help with the rescue efforts. He told me a story about the search and rescue dogs looking for survivors in the wreckage. His words touched my heart, and I wanted to share the story he told me with you.
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Rescue Dogs
The dogs moved through the Twin Towers, looking and searching. They were trained to find living people. The dogs were confused and disoriented because no living people were to be found; they were only finding the dead. The firemen quickly started hiding so that these highly trained dogs could be rewarded by finding someone alive.
The dogs spent long hours searching, and their paws became cut and burned. The firemen were approached by a shoemaker who offered to custom make leather boots for each dog to cover their injured paws so they could continue to search. Each dog had its own fitted boots and a number so the shoemaker could make a new set as needed. He created the protection the dogs needed to do their job. The firefighters, dogs, and shoemaker worked together as a team to help our country on the tragic day when 2,974 hearts stopped beating.
For the Hurting
The shoemaker gave
A gift with no strings attached
An example to follow
His only desire
Was to give all that he had
To save the lost ones
And give the compassion needed
Heard my Desperate Cry
July 24, 2011
Radiant Love
May 7, 2011
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past wounds
April 9, 2011
Sue was my girlfriend
From the ninth grade to college
She was a princess
She lived in a huge mansion
Her chauffeur drove her to school
In her blue convertible
His name was “Shorty”
Life looked good on the outside
Sue was the oldest of five
Her father I rarely saw
Her mother stayed near
She was beautiful
But her world was sad as mine
Although hers appeared the best
Money hid the tragedy
It hid all of the emptiness
Suicide was the result
I thought we lived in two worlds
But later I saw the truth
We came from the same sad world
Relationships dark
We met in our woundedness
She was very kind to me
Our hearts were breaking with grief
With no words to speak
At eighteen we parted ways
Trying to hang on to love
She went to the Ivy League
I went to Ole Miss
Our letters were sweet
Our voices became distant
We could not sustain our love
It was not enough
My life fell apart
Despair became a doorway
Sue’s dad died by his own hand
We were both empty
My search led me to seek life
Her search led her to despair
Her depression led to her death
Sadness and grief crushed us all
Money could not fix the pain
Our hearts were broken
The Hidden Treasure
April 8, 2011
You have always heard my cry
You, O Lord, keep me safe
The unseen love pursuing
Now seen and experienced
Looking back I see
Faces of those who loved me
And touched me with compassion
Her gentleness and kindness
Holding me safely
In her arms with greatest joy
Childhood memory that runs deep
Her name is Ina Roseberry
Seeing me with compassion
Giving me courage
To hold onto the vision
Of the unspeakable joy
Her name is Sherrill Lynn “Mama Sherrill”
You have satisfied my soul
I hunger for righteousness
I will see your face
The future is in the now
Your unseen presence
My eyes are open to love
In silence I hear
Knowledge invites me to look
Faith provides the lens to see
Your Beauty
March 23, 2011
Handprints
March 16, 2011
Searching
March 3, 2011
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Those I loved were gone
I sat in the darkest night
Afraid, not able to speak
Alone and helpless
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At the darkest time
No hope on the horizon
Light broke in the dawn
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To live was my decision
There was fire in my being
Mysterious energy
Coming from within
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My search became real
The path began to open
The pain was universal
Everyone’s lot
All around there were others
Searching to find what was real
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It is easy to escape
And medicate all the pain
That is what my parents did
And gave it to me
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Was I to repeat
And give this to my children
I decided, “No!”
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I found a community
Of people wanting to know
Seeking knowledge and insights
How to be human
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Searching is the key
Being honest and fearless
Not afraid to ask questions
Even about death
We’re at different places
But at one in our seeking
© Terry S. Smith ~ First posted March 3, 2010
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A Place of Peace
December 30, 2010
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An Unspoken Dream and A Christmas Story
December 24, 2010
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An unspoken dream
That is in everyone
A longing within
This dream articulated
In universal language
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I had a dream as a child
I wanted a home with peace
An atmosphere of loving care
To celebrate life
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Moments of oneness
I remember them so well
Laughter and playing
Learning a rhythm of joy
Experienced in the child
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I got a glimpse of it
The first seven years of life
Playing ball with the neighbors
Being held with love
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Children need a holding place
Of personal tender care
Where they feel safe and secure
Untouched by trouble
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The home is the place
Where joy is at the center
Laughter the result
Forgiveness reigns all around
The freedom to discover
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I will tell the world
That peace is within their reach
What you need first is desire
Then a clear vision
If it is there you will find it
Relationships that flourish
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I’ll never give up
Living peace and sharing it
It is my great joy
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Those who want to know
Who are searching with their heart
Will certainly find
It will take your best thinking
Then faith and courage to act
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It is in practicing
The things that you know are true
You’ll discover more
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There are daily practices
I’ve discovered on the way
That are essential to me
For living in joy
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I awoke from a dream this morning, with my heart going out to the children who long to be held, and to experience home as a safe place. I felt that safety as a little child, although my parents as teenagers did not know how to provide it. There was extended family, (and neighbors) who provided this safety until my family unit fell apart. I believe there is a longing in everyone to find a place of peace where joy sits at the center. I want to be a part of pointing the way to this authentic life that is available to all. These reflections came out of my dream last night, and after meditating on Proverbs 20 and John 15.
© Terry S. Smith
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The following article and picture appeared on the front page of the Burlington Daily Times on December 24, 1985, in metropolitan Boston, Massachusetts.
A Christmas Story – December 24, 1985
A man painfully remembers: years of confusion, guilt, and learning to survive in a world where hate and fear consumed his childhood.
When he was seven years old, his mother stood on the hood of the car, kicked the windshield in and cursed the boy’s father to hell.
When the boy was eight, divorce and alcoholism robbed him of his mother. The parent’s failure, anger, and hate tore the relationship apart and another family unit fragmented.
This is a story about a mother and son coming together after eighteen years, and about the One who stirred their hearts into a love that brought healing and hope to a once broken relationship.
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I had always wondered about her. She was beautiful, but many of my memories were painful, reinforced by my father’s hatred for her. While I was growing up, he cut me off from anyone who cared about her.
Then during my last year of graduate school, I found where she lived, discovering that in a city of 600,000 people, I was driving past her house daily.
Should I go see her? What would she be like now? She would be forty-five years old. Could I understand this woman who left four young children, never again to be involved in their childhood?
She didn’t know who I was when my wife and I knocked on her door in October of 1968. But a new journey began.
Her story was hard. She had married at sixteen, had three children before age twenty-one. She married five times, was an alcoholic, and currently was living with a man who was not her husband.
She hated herself. She had attempted suicide by cutting her throat, jumping out of a car going eighty miles an hour, and by putting a gun to her head and pulling the trigger.
But, the gun misfired. It fell on the floor, blowing a hole in the wall. She lived!
The reunion with her son helped her to realize she could start over again. She began to fight! But it was like trying to climb a greased slide. My family — a wife and two babies — now included this woman, my mother, who, after wanting to die all these years, now had a desire to live.
The failure I experienced in my childhood caused me to pursue the field of counseling to learn how to live in relationships, and not make the same mistakes my parents made. There had to be a way to live in this world and not be victimized by failure, anger, insecurity and guilt.
People can come back together and healing can take place in relationships. But how? How could this woman ever have forgiven herself for leaving her children? How could the children have ever forgiven her for abandoning them?
As a family counselor in Burlington, I have chosen, for a model, one person in history who knew how to love and treat human beings. I find very few people who have read his life. Not many are willing to give and extend mercy toward those who hurt them. Not many are willing to say: “I am wrong!”; “I am sorry!”; “Forgive me!”
The little baby whose birthday the world celebrates at this time of the year grew up to be a man. He met a woman at the well who had been married five times and was living with a man not her husband. The man at the well treated the woman with dignity, respect, consideration, and compassion. It changed her life.
The angels announced at his birth that he has come to bring good tidings of great joy. The woman at the well experienced it the day she met him. I have tested it on the streets of the twentieth century and it holds today. My mother found hope, forgiveness, and new beginnings because this man’s evaluation of human worth represented by the heart of the God and Father of us all.
Our challenge at this season is to look past the commercialism of Christmas. To look beyond the religious ritual, and to sense the mystery of the One who came among us to demonstrate and to give a new quality of life.
I’ve just returned from a family wedding. It was the first time in thirty-five years the family was together. My mother flew back with us, and will celebrate her first New England Christmas with me and my family. We realize that we owe this reunion to the One whose perspective on life continues to bring into a dark world hope and light.
Our hearts are full of thanksgiving as we celebrate the reality of his presence.
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My mother died in the year 2000, at the age seventy-seven. She experienced in her heart, soul, and mind, the joy of God’s peace.
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