Relief or Healing
January 16, 2015
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Where are you God in my pain
I can’t hear you or see you
My grief and fear are mixed
I’m broken inside
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Who will come and help
I cry in desperation
Can you hear me, God
The silence is deafening
In unbelief and belief
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You said for me to “Be Still”
And know that you are God
My anxiety blinds me
My fear imprisons
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I need you to come
Keep your promises you gave
I am overwhelmed
There is no one to comfort
My body and soul feel dead
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I need a resurrection
You understand all my grief
You meet me with compassion
I will wait for you
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You always come at right times
My soul is refined by fire
False thinking I’ve depended on
No longer secures
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I stand waiting for relief
Your comfort is far away
That is the way I’m feeling
I find no relief
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“I have come to heal
To bring hope to the hopeless
Freedom for the prisoners
Give sight to the blind
Bring good news to the poorest
Give all the captives freedom”
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Healing instead of relief
Is the promise He’s given
With mixed feelings do we hear
Choose who we will trust
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Reading Psalm 16 and 46 reveal a narrow path of hope. We all find ourselves at some time in the spot these reflections communicate. When I decided that I did not want relief but I wanted healing above all, a pinhole of light entered my world. I chose to move toward that light with trust and hope to make it through the storm I was in at the time. We all think no one understands. That is a lie. There is One who does and comes to bring that healing that only He can give. I choose to “Be still” trusting His words today.
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Awake Expecting
January 8, 2015
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Awake expecting
To hear things you need to hear
From your Creator
Speak to my heart, soul and mind
Let love dominate my life
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Human beings live
As reflections of your heart
We look just like you
No wonder you love us so much
Even though we have failed you
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You bestow honor
And glory on all of us
Made in your image
At conception it’s given
Love never stops pursuing
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My guilt is heavy
A burden too much to bear
Failure consumes me
Wounds fester and bring sickness
To my soul, body and mind
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I sit in mourning
Feeble and utterly crushed
This searing pain comes
I groan with anguish of heart
My longings lay before you
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My sighing is not hidden
“My heart pounds, my strength fails me”
The light has gone from my eyes
No friends are in sight
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Neighbors stay away
Traps are set to destroy me
Deception is all around
I’m blind to your light
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I’m like a deaf man
Whose mouth offers no reply
With no voice to speak
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The reason I love
God found me in this condition
Lifted me out of the hell
Came looking for me
He found me in the darkness
Gently led me to the light
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God is pursuing you now
Be still, focus and listen
Choose the voice you trust
One tested in history
Gave his life that we might live
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I confess my wrongs
My iniquity is great
I am troubled by my sin
Hated without cause
Slandered when I seek the good
O Lord, do not forsake me
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Lord, you are not far
In my darkest hour you came
Opened my eyes to see love
Touched my very soul
Gave me a language to hear
Your Spirit to know the joy
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These promises were fulfilled
Stated in Psalm sixty-eight
We would all do well to look
And believe His word
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Our God is a God who saves
Who daily bears our burdens
From him we escape from death
My heart fills with praise
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I will never forget where I came from and the darkness I lived and grew up in this world. Hope against hope was the surprise that is not only for me but is for everyone. These reflections came in response to Psalm 8, 38, 68, 98 and 128.
Love Pours Down Like Rain
January 5, 2015
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I wait in expectation
Morning by morning I seek
To listen to your kind voice
To walk in the light
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Those who tell lies crush others
Homes are destroyed, children lose
The safety and love God gave
With two loving souls
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No word can we trust
Hearts are full of destruction
Only action speaks
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I found a place of refuge
Place I can be glad again
God can restore the real joy
Spread his protection
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Those who love your name
Will find a place to rejoice
When we seek a pure heart
Our eyes are opened
Love pours down like the rain
We experience God’s love
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Forgiveness from God
Is the greatest gift of all
Then we can forgive
The one we have hurt the most
The offense against our souls
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We wounded ourselves
Lied to ourselves and others
Miracles of forgiveness
Comes to those who will repent
Accept God’s love and give it
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God will run to receive you
Others will be unable
Celebrate this gift and give
Others time to heal
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Reflections from Psalm 5 with awareness of the Father-son relationship in Luke 15.
Your Story Matters http://www.yourstorymatters2him.com
Early Morning Times
January 4, 2015
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My best questions come
In the early morning times
In quiet moments
I’m confronted with my life
My fears and anxieties
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I’m frightened sometimes by dreams
By realities of life
For others and for myself
My questions are hard
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What do I believe
I struggle with unbelief
About the world and the pain
How do I view me
And the big question is God
And the meaning of friendship
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I take the time to be still
To listen and contemplate
The puzzle of this journey
That involves my life
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In my early life
I learned to detach myself
To not feel the pain
My imagination flew
To a place where I felt safe
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I could settle down
With memories that were good
Of people who cared
Grandmothers and the neighbors
There was a secret comfort
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I found in the solitude
A forced abandonment pain
A feeling of helplessness
With no person there
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Solitary confinement
On the raft of shifting seas
With sharks all around
I was searching for answers
To understand and survive
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It was in this search
To find out who I can trust
I found a focus
Big enough to contain me
Give me perspective on my life
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No easy answers
But confidence I could find
The hidden love presented
By One I could trust
Who never failed to give love
To broken and lost children
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I am one of His
If I ask the question,”Why?”
I must ask then “Why not me?”
We all have a cross
His mysterious presence came
“Don’t be afraid, I’m with you”
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Reflections after reading Psalm 4, 34 and 64. Proverbs 4:7. I had no mother or father to guide my thinking or big enough to listen to the pain. I had no words to communicate. There was only silence and a simple prayer taught me. “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray thee, Lord, my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray thee, Lord, my soul to take.” There was a song I learned that I sang, “Jesus Loves Me” this I know. I chose as a child to hold onto this mysterious unseen love and to trust this unseen God. I grew up and learned his story and discovered there was One who was with me when I was unaware and the angels were attending. His love was there and looking back I can see. He brought me through it all with His angels attending. He will bring you through. In the midst of my unbelief I cry out confessing it and pray “Help my unbelief!
Best Friend Conversations
January 2, 2015
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Good conversation
Is a gift I want to have
With those I love most
I will include the stranger
And, also, my enemy
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Who will be my friend
I will be looking today
Ready to respond
Open to this adventure
Love with no expectations
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This I know is the hardest
For we wrong one another
Get offended easily
I know where to start
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I will start with me
The one I sleep with each night
This is the hardest
The one I offend a lot
I’m the one I hurt the most
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I found the secret
A way to forgive myself
To have a conversation
That’s gentle and kind
A way to love even me
In the darkness of my soul
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Ready for the ride
Mutual conversation
Is what I’m committed to
It’s the missing part
So I will not medicate
Keep doing the counterfeit
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I will like sleeping with myself
I have no choice about that
I will befriend my own soul
I’ll live in that joy
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I’ll take away the judgment
With real authenticity
I’ll train to forgive myself
And the one near me
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It is possible to live this. It is possible to overcome the darkness of the wounded soul and discover the joy. The impossible is possible when the deep soul decision is made to live and not die. Deciding to fight for my life is the most important decision I have made. I had to begin by caring about me. At that point I began to pay attention to my questions. Taking that responsibility has led me to discovering how to live in joy over the past fifty-three years. The pain, the reality of my own failure toward others and their failure to me is the most difficult road to navigate.
The best book I recommend to kick start this conversation was written by Jim Woodroof “Sayings that Saved My Sanity.” Write me and I will tell you how to get it. May all the best conversations take place for you in 2015. Your Story Matters http://www.yourstorymatters2him.com
Living In The Light
January 1, 2015
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Two important things
Knowledge and understanding
Will equal wisdom
Knowledge applied at right times
Will give power and freedom
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Waking up each day
Knowing a certain future
Anticipating real joy
Is a way to live
That is possible for all
Can be a daily practice
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Circumstances cannot rob
Take away this joy in me
It’s based on knowledge and wisdom
I”ll live in the light
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The world can hurt you
Sometimes it certainly will
I have found I have a choice
How I will respond
The power is in knowing this
Love is larger than all things
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Pride is within me
Along with lust and the greed
Basic things to all of us
There is an answer
To keep these from destroying
My soul, body and my mind
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The light in my soul
Will heal the wounded places
Received with great joy
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Happy New Year to those who choose to share this joy. I have chosen the word “light” to be my focus word this year. No resolutions just one word. This word brings clarity and understanding as I look into the heart of God through the light of His Son. May this be the best year of your life. One day at a time, walking after love, as revealed in the daily practice of interacting with the passion and compassionate heart of God, that is light to me. If you have chosen a word for the New Year, would you share that word with me in your reply? Thank you!
Worthless Idols
December 31, 2014
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The worthless idols
I can name them in my life
Easily deceive
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They led me down to the pit
My soul was trapped by these lies
Beliefs handed down to me
From generations
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It is good to name
The beliefs that will destroy
Turn from them as enemies
Their toxic darkness
Holds a person in prison
Until the light of love comes
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Moving to the light
Across the bridge of seeking
With an honest heart
Things that are true and noble
What is excellent and good
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The barriers rise
Awareness of the sickness
Awakened me to the problem
My soul was wounded
And needed the healing touch
Of the Master Physician
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Wound – Abandonment
The lie is I must fix it
In me and in the others
I sat with no hope
I turn away from idols
“Be good,” “Perform” and “Be Strong”
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Repent of the lies
Revoke them as enemies
Replace them with real truth
Truth that heals the soul
I’m a beloved son of God
Practicing living in the joy
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I have found a spacious place
In the morning when I rise
A friend to always greet me
Welcome me to hope
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These are reflections after meditating on Psalm 31. There is power in naming the enemies and becoming aware of the enemies that lie in the unconscious. With knowledge, stillness and reflecting on things true allows the Spirit to dismantle the powerful unconscious feelings that tell us we are not good enough. Name them, turn from them, revoke them and replace them with the truth “I AM BELOVED” each day. Joy comes in the day as we practice believing what is really true about us. This will lead us into a “spacious” place in our souls. All the best for a wonderful 2015.. Your Story Matters http://www.yourstorymatters2him.com
Soul Maker
December 29, 2014
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No one understands
The depth of the human hurt
It is emotional
Runs deeper than the ocean
And higher than the heavens
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I can go so far
Confess my limitations
Say, “I’m unable”
To be there on that level
I cannot comfort you there
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I’ve tried that and failed
The deep places of the soul
Can only be helped
By One much larger than me
Only the “Soul Maker” heals
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This mystery discovered
In the depth of my despair
When my soul cried out
I had no language to speak
The inner groaning of my soul
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“Where is God,” I say
Why God if you’re really there
Do you let us suffer this
Desperate grief
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I asked, “Who are you?”
When I began to seek you
You came in the deep darkness
Brought light to my soul
Gave me new information
About you and about me
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Now I am hungry
Arise each morning to seek
Be still and listen
There’s someone who hears my cry
Who loves me as His dear son
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Psalm 28:6
“Praise be to the Lord,
for he has heard my cry for mercy.
The Lord is my strength and shield;
my heart trusts in him and I am helped.
My heart leaps for joy
And I will give thanks to him in song.”
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David speaks of where he found help!
One Word Challenge
January 1, 2014
A teachable spirit comes
When you focus on one thing
That one thing will guide your ways
Be clear what that is~
What is the one thing
I know what it is for me
Bring it to one word
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Yes, boil it down to one word
It’s the window to my soul
Join me and come up with yours
I’ll encourage you
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No resolutions
Just one word to guide your heart
That will challenge your thinking
Inspire you to act
To do what is good and right
That will lead you to the joy
Last year my word was “action.” This year it is different. If you want to join me in this exercise, I would be delighted. You can share yours if you please. Happy New Year and all the best to you on your journey, my friends.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:4
My word for the year is “Presence.”
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Anchor Point
December 28, 2013
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I will choose an anchor point
A way to look at the world
A way to look at myself
And other people
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There is a fresh spring
Of living water to drink
Each morning I arise with
A thirst for real life
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There is a fresh joy
An intimacy given
To those who seek truth
The transcendent will show up
In surprising ways and times
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Develop the discipline
Trust the process not yourself
Have faith in something bigger
And never give up
Looking for the unseen truths
That give insight to the soul
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I build space, reflecting
I choose the focus of life
That’s a privilege I have
I will trust in someone
The question: “Who will that be?”
I’m responsible for that
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The people were delighted
Seeing the wonderful things
Love demonstrated
For the broken and lonely
For the sick and afflicted
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One man has captured my heart
He told about the mustard seed
That grew into a tall plant
How leaven changed things
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Reflections written after reading Luke 13 out loud, and meditating on the following thoughts.
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“God is our refuge and strength,
an ever present help in trouble.
Therefore I will not fear, though the
the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the
heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with
their surging.” Psalm 46:1-3
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“Blessed are those who learned to
acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence.” Psalm 89:15
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Question: What are some surprising ways the transcendent has showed up for you?
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Tears Water the Soul
July 13, 2013
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Time for crying and laughing
There is a time for all things
Yes, grieving and believing
Tears water the soul
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With joy we will rise
Out of the ashes we come
It’s a time to look closely
At what matters most
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In my deepest darkest time
When there was no hope to rise
I became aware
Incomprehensible love
Swept my soul into the joy
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I will concentrate
On listening to the person
Knowing their story
Understanding their world view
And what controls under stress
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Who will call the shots
When I am in the crisis
Will I be prepared
To love as I have been loved
To give as I’ve been given
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I have found a key*
That will unlock one’s story
I found God in the middle
Of each person’s life
A secret that’s been hidden
Ten thousand stories tell me
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No one can fathom
The intimacy of this love
One who counts the tears
Who knows and understands you
Who comes in your darkest hour
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*The key is a tool that I use during my life coaching sessions.: Coaching: Life Matters
Psalms 56:8; Revelation 17:14; John 15:13-15; Romans 8:26,
Jesus Calling – Sarah Young
No One Can Fathom
July 6, 2013
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History tells us
The things that we need to know
Am I listening
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The wars, the innocent lives
The raw human suffering
With fear and trembling
But with confidence and hope
I will go with you leading
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I will enter the soul wound
Having been wounded and scarred
Broken by ill-equipped ones
Loved in the middle
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I’ll not lead with piety
I enter as a wounded soul
Aware of my own sorrows
Meeting in the pain
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In my darkest grief
Losses inexpressible
The darkest room in my heart
A gentle light came
A pinhole of light to give hope
There was joy to be found
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The God I know forgives me
He came to me in darkness
Showed me what a child is worth
Opened me to love
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Every soul I meet
Help me never to label
Or eliminate
Each person has a story
Each one is beloved by God
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I’ll not live in fear
I will go with the light of love
With courage to act
With the power of presence
Staying close with compassion
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I’ll be wise as a serpent
Gentle dove as my model
Courageous as a lion
Move forward ln light
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The wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace will be our guide. With the Spirit of sonship we will go where we are led. His promises held high we go forward to meet the prisoners with a message of healing, hope and forgiveness. As Moses led the way for the slaves in Egypt, Jesus calls us to join him in bringing the light of life to those trapped in darkness.
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Isaiah 9:6; Zecheraiah 9:9; Romans 8: 15-16; Exodus 3:5
Soaking
January 8, 2013
I’ll soak in your thoughts
Remember the things you say
Write them on my heart
Please light the flame in my soul
Let it burn for you today
I will enter your throne room
In quiet and wait for you
I am so slow to hear you
You words are simple
I’ll act on your words
Reflect, only you are God
I’ll light the candle of hope
Receive your mercy
Accept your peace in the storm
Receive your gentle presence
Gratitude fills me
I choose to believe the truth
He’s stored life for me
In the sight of all mankind
My cup overflows with love
“The words I speak are Spirit”
His words are light to my soul
I believe them like a son
Holding Father’s hand
Going out not knowing
Trusting He will lead the way
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My Utmost for His Higest – January 3
Jesus Calling by Sarah Young – January 3
Psalm 31:19-20; John 6:33, 16:33; Psalm 97:2,3,20,11
“When a man gets to God, it is by most simple ways—words.” Oswald Chambers
