I am not afraid

July 8, 2009


Written while in the Emergency Room.


Death may come today

It’s real and I can touch it

I am not afraid


My blood pressure was too high

They said it was dangerous

These kinds of things will kill you

I’m being tested


It is just a reminder

This body is wearing out

Death is one thing that happens

To male and female


I like who I am

That has not always been so

I’ve learned to forgive


It’s not easy to forgive

Yourself and all the others

Changing points of reference

Has opened my eyes


l thought I that I knew

Then I knew I did not know

I knew I was lost

Then someone found me searching

Eager to teach me real love


There is rest in real silence

I found it in the hallway

Waiting in the hospital

Listening to the sounds


Doctors, nurses giving tests

Explaining to me the risks

If I die I know the reason

Why I am not here


They do it with smiles

Taking the right precautions

Being kind and thoughtful

They are the real thing


My eyes are being opened  

Finding love pursuing me

It is a constant living truth

I cannot deny


July 6-7, 2009

the reality of death

June 18, 2009


Death sits as my enemy
It’s a constant reminder
Of my own powerlessness
When it comes I weep
It is sudden and swift
It is like a tornado
We don’t like to think about 
The reality
I know that death is coming
With my head but not my heart
Somehow I think I will escape
Where do I get that
I decided to face it
To turn and look death straight on
I’ll not live my life in fear
And miss the great joy
Two kinds of death that I see
Physical and spiritual
What blinds people from seeing
Are internal lies
Those lies must be confronted
And only you can do it
Be sure you get all the facts
You’re responsible
Who is it that speaks to death
That’s what I wanted to know
I sought an authentic voice
Not religious talk
We all have been hurt
I have tasted the injustice
Relationship betrayal
I grew up in it
I decided I would stop
The cycle of death given me
The one my parents lived in
The questions began
Each person has a story
That deserves full attention
Everyone needs to be heard
That’s what I believe
Real conversation 
Is what I need from someone
Who will listen and respond
And consider well
Understanding my story
And me understanding theirs
written June 17, 2009
after a week with several deaths