I am not afraid

July 8, 2009

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Written while in the Emergency Room.

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Death may come today

It’s real and I can touch it

I am not afraid

 

My blood pressure was too high

They said it was dangerous

These kinds of things will kill you

I’m being tested

 

It is just a reminder

This body is wearing out

Death is one thing that happens

To male and female

 

I like who I am

That has not always been so

I’ve learned to forgive

 

It’s not easy to forgive

Yourself and all the others

Changing points of reference

Has opened my eyes

 

l thought I that I knew

Then I knew I did not know

I knew I was lost

Then someone found me searching

Eager to teach me real love

 

There is rest in real silence

I found it in the hallway

Waiting in the hospital

Listening to the sounds

 

Doctors, nurses giving tests

Explaining to me the risks

If I die I know the reason

Why I am not here

 

They do it with smiles

Taking the right precautions

Being kind and thoughtful

They are the real thing

~

My eyes are being opened  

Finding love pursuing me

It is a constant living truth

I cannot deny

  

July 6-7, 2009

the reality of death

June 18, 2009

 

Death sits as my enemy
It’s a constant reminder
Of my own powerlessness
When it comes I weep
~
It is sudden and swift
It is like a tornado
We don’t like to think about 
The reality
~
I know that death is coming
With my head but not my heart
Somehow I think I will escape
Where do I get that
~
I decided to face it
To turn and look death straight on
I’ll not live my life in fear
And miss the great joy
~
Two kinds of death that I see
Physical and spiritual
What blinds people from seeing
Are internal lies
~
Those lies must be confronted
And only you can do it
Be sure you get all the facts
You’re responsible
~
Who is it that speaks to death
That’s what I wanted to know
I sought an authentic voice
Not religious talk
~
We all have been hurt
I have tasted the injustice
Relationship betrayal
I grew up in it
~
I decided I would stop
The cycle of death given me
The one my parents lived in
The questions began
~
Each person has a story
That deserves full attention
Everyone needs to be heard
That’s what I believe
~
Real conversation 
Is what I need from someone
Who will listen and respond
And consider well
Understanding my story
And me understanding theirs
~
written June 17, 2009
after a week with several deaths
~