A Secret Hope

February 17, 2015

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I can’t live off yesterday
The past can condemn my soul
My failures can overwhelm
I need a fresh start

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Depression sets in
I cry out in my despair
My soul languishes

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Although the good memories
Are there to console my soul
The judgment of my heart is strong
I look for relief

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A drink, a song or a good joke
Can distract me from the pain
Lying down I remember
The noise of judgment

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I arise to fill my life
With something to stop the noise
These things only medicate
They’re temporary

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My search landed in the Psalms
With a King who failed his God
His family and his friends
He despaired for life

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He discovered the secret
The unfailing love of God
Who forgives all those who come
Desperate for hope

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The reflections were born out of meditation in response to Psalm 17, 47, 77, 107 and 127. If any of you would like to hear an audio reading of some of these Psalms, then message me your cell phone number and I will send it to you if you have a phone that receives audio. All the best!
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Christmas Wonder

December 25, 2014

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I sit in wonder
Looking back I see it
Generational darkness
And pinholes of light
The tragedy and the pain
The sorrow that led to joy

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The relational chaos
Can be seen on the I-Phone
Looking for a connection
Missing the person

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With eyes on the hand
Holding the person captive
Not seeing my eyes
Longing for a connection
To be seen as a person

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I’ll lay the phone down
Turn it off and look around
Not miss the moment
The eyes and the warm embrace
Surprising moments of joy

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More information
Life lived vicariously
Technology is worshiped
Junk food of the mind
Robbing us connection
With the real and life giving

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I will text you now
And give an invitation
To come share a joy
Know the beauty of looking
In the eyes of the One who loves

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I have learned in the morning before I look at my I-Phone, turn on the computer and check my email to be still and look in the face of the Father who sees. The unseen is the real just like love. You know when it is not there and you know it when it is. Turn your mind, heart and soul to the One who can stop the noise and chaos and give you peace. Today people around the world are looking for gifts. One has been given you and you have only to be still, listen and believe. Readings this morning that has been helpful to me in stopping the “junk food” noise from generations are the following: “My Utmost for His Highest” by Oswald Chambers, “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young. Psalm 25:14 speaks of a God who will “confide in you” and Psalm 55:22 says “Cast your burden on the Lord and he will sustain you.” Looking back I see the generational darkness and I now see the generational light revealed that day God was born in the world as a baby. May the real wonder of Christmas be yours today! Merry Christmas!

Blue Christmas

December 23, 2014

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This season brings awareness of deepest joy and unspeakable sorrow!   I think about my mother who for many Christmases sat in desperation at not being with her four children. She abandoned them when they were ten, eight, seven and two in 1950. I found her broken and devastated in 1968, eight-teen years later at the age of forty-five. Jesus’ story of meeting the woman at the well had inspired me to contact her. She had been married five times and was living with a man who was not her husband. She spent Christmas with us in Boston in 1985, and her story and picture were on the front page of the newspaper on Christmas Eve, telling the power of forgiveness and reconciliation. People with hatred, guilt, shame, and broken relationships were at the heart of Jesus’ mission.

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The experience with my mother created a desire in me to reach out with compassion, which is why I started Coaching Life Matters. Coaching Life Matters is committed to removing barriers to healthy relationships and restoring people to joy. We are a non-profit educational organization that chooses not to charge for our services. To learn more about the work we did in 2014 and our plans for 2015, please click the link below to read our December newsletter.

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http://coachinglifematters.org/resources/Newsletter-Dec-2014.pdf

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If you would like to know more about some of the stories of our work with veterans with PTSD,  Operation Stand Down, (an organization working with homeless veterans), and our work in the prison, you can view video clips in newsletter:

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If you are already connected to Coaching Life Matters, we want to thank you for your continued support and encouragement in our work. If you are just hearing about us, please check us out and consider joining us in going “outside the camp.”

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May your hearts be filled with hope, and if you are in despair, I pray you will find that “pinhole of light.” Special thanks to Boyle Investment Company, which donates office space for CLM to operate.

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Wishing you the best Christmas and a joyful 2015.

Thankfully, Terry and Charlotte

rising from desperation

October 24, 2009

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There’s a world within

A place that never leaves me

How do I deal with the pain

Brokenness abounds

Looking at my inner world

I seek answers for my life

 

There’s a world without

A place that I can’t escape

Pressures and expectations

Calling me each day

Looking at my outer world

Living becomes a challenge   

 

There’s quiet desperation

A reality for many

Masks hide the deep despair

The lonely cry out

  

So sad and lonely

I rose from desperation

Crying out in the darkness

Looking for some light

I found a friend listening

One who had the time to hear

 

I am larger than my pain

In solitude I found space

How to think and to detach

Discovered new things

 

 

© Terry S. Smith

written October 24, 2009

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