Awake Expecting
January 8, 2015
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Awake expecting
To hear things you need to hear
From your Creator
Speak to my heart, soul and mind
Let love dominate my life
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Human beings live
As reflections of your heart
We look just like you
No wonder you love us so much
Even though we have failed you
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You bestow honor
And glory on all of us
Made in your image
At conception it’s given
Love never stops pursuing
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My guilt is heavy
A burden too much to bear
Failure consumes me
Wounds fester and bring sickness
To my soul, body and mind
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I sit in mourning
Feeble and utterly crushed
This searing pain comes
I groan with anguish of heart
My longings lay before you
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My sighing is not hidden
“My heart pounds, my strength fails me”
The light has gone from my eyes
No friends are in sight
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Neighbors stay away
Traps are set to destroy me
Deception is all around
I’m blind to your light
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I’m like a deaf man
Whose mouth offers no reply
With no voice to speak
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The reason I love
God found me in this condition
Lifted me out of the hell
Came looking for me
He found me in the darkness
Gently led me to the light
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God is pursuing you now
Be still, focus and listen
Choose the voice you trust
One tested in history
Gave his life that we might live
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I confess my wrongs
My iniquity is great
I am troubled by my sin
Hated without cause
Slandered when I seek the good
O Lord, do not forsake me
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Lord, you are not far
In my darkest hour you came
Opened my eyes to see love
Touched my very soul
Gave me a language to hear
Your Spirit to know the joy
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These promises were fulfilled
Stated in Psalm sixty-eight
We would all do well to look
And believe His word
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Our God is a God who saves
Who daily bears our burdens
From him we escape from death
My heart fills with praise
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I will never forget where I came from and the darkness I lived and grew up in this world. Hope against hope was the surprise that is not only for me but is for everyone. These reflections came in response to Psalm 8, 38, 68, 98 and 128.
You Are His Delight
January 7, 2015
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God searches the minds and hearts
Brings an end to violence
He makes the righteous secure
With forgiving love
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Trust in the Lord and do good
Delight yourself in the Lord
The desires of your heart come
As surely as breath
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Commit your way to the Lord
Trust in him and he will do this
His life will shine like the dawn
Break forth in your soul
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Be still before God
Wait patiently for guidance
Stop all the fretting
It leads only to evil
History tells us this truth
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Anger will kill you
The toxic part can destroy
Learn to channel it
By loving your enemy
The first place to start is you
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The meek inherit the land
Flourish in relationship
Look to the best interest
Of those closest to you
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The result will be peace
That passes understanding
So it is time to grow up
Be responsible
Stop blaming self and others
You hold the key to find life
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God will hold you up
I know this is true for sure
I have tasted this
By practicing His Presence
Walking in the light of love
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God delights in you
When you believe, wisdom comes
There is a future for you
His kindness and peace
Comes when you trust His love
Surrender all of the lies
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These reflections from Psalm 37 come from choosing how I will process this life. There are many views of life one can take. I chose to trust the God David spoke of in the Psalms. As a result I discovered an unshakable life filled with hope in the midst of the worst possible circumstances. Psalms has been like a mother to me over the last fifty years. The promises in this book I have found to be true, practical and life giving beyond words.
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My journey is told in the book “Delta Blues From Darkness to Light.” http://www.coachinglifematters.com/delta-blues.html
Love Pours Down Like Rain
January 5, 2015
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I wait in expectation
Morning by morning I seek
To listen to your kind voice
To walk in the light
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Those who tell lies crush others
Homes are destroyed, children lose
The safety and love God gave
With two loving souls
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No word can we trust
Hearts are full of destruction
Only action speaks
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I found a place of refuge
Place I can be glad again
God can restore the real joy
Spread his protection
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Those who love your name
Will find a place to rejoice
When we seek a pure heart
Our eyes are opened
Love pours down like the rain
We experience God’s love
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Forgiveness from God
Is the greatest gift of all
Then we can forgive
The one we have hurt the most
The offense against our souls
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We wounded ourselves
Lied to ourselves and others
Miracles of forgiveness
Comes to those who will repent
Accept God’s love and give it
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God will run to receive you
Others will be unable
Celebrate this gift and give
Others time to heal
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Reflections from Psalm 5 with awareness of the Father-son relationship in Luke 15.
Your Story Matters http://www.yourstorymatters2him.com
Early Morning Times
January 4, 2015
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My best questions come
In the early morning times
In quiet moments
I’m confronted with my life
My fears and anxieties
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I’m frightened sometimes by dreams
By realities of life
For others and for myself
My questions are hard
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What do I believe
I struggle with unbelief
About the world and the pain
How do I view me
And the big question is God
And the meaning of friendship
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I take the time to be still
To listen and contemplate
The puzzle of this journey
That involves my life
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In my early life
I learned to detach myself
To not feel the pain
My imagination flew
To a place where I felt safe
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I could settle down
With memories that were good
Of people who cared
Grandmothers and the neighbors
There was a secret comfort
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I found in the solitude
A forced abandonment pain
A feeling of helplessness
With no person there
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Solitary confinement
On the raft of shifting seas
With sharks all around
I was searching for answers
To understand and survive
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It was in this search
To find out who I can trust
I found a focus
Big enough to contain me
Give me perspective on my life
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No easy answers
But confidence I could find
The hidden love presented
By One I could trust
Who never failed to give love
To broken and lost children
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I am one of His
If I ask the question,”Why?”
I must ask then “Why not me?”
We all have a cross
His mysterious presence came
“Don’t be afraid, I’m with you”
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Reflections after reading Psalm 4, 34 and 64. Proverbs 4:7. I had no mother or father to guide my thinking or big enough to listen to the pain. I had no words to communicate. There was only silence and a simple prayer taught me. “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray thee, Lord, my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray thee, Lord, my soul to take.” There was a song I learned that I sang, “Jesus Loves Me” this I know. I chose as a child to hold onto this mysterious unseen love and to trust this unseen God. I grew up and learned his story and discovered there was One who was with me when I was unaware and the angels were attending. His love was there and looking back I can see. He brought me through it all with His angels attending. He will bring you through. In the midst of my unbelief I cry out confessing it and pray “Help my unbelief!
Worthless Idols
December 31, 2014
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The worthless idols
I can name them in my life
Easily deceive
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They led me down to the pit
My soul was trapped by these lies
Beliefs handed down to me
From generations
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It is good to name
The beliefs that will destroy
Turn from them as enemies
Their toxic darkness
Holds a person in prison
Until the light of love comes
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Moving to the light
Across the bridge of seeking
With an honest heart
Things that are true and noble
What is excellent and good
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The barriers rise
Awareness of the sickness
Awakened me to the problem
My soul was wounded
And needed the healing touch
Of the Master Physician
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Wound – Abandonment
The lie is I must fix it
In me and in the others
I sat with no hope
I turn away from idols
“Be good,” “Perform” and “Be Strong”
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Repent of the lies
Revoke them as enemies
Replace them with real truth
Truth that heals the soul
I’m a beloved son of God
Practicing living in the joy
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I have found a spacious place
In the morning when I rise
A friend to always greet me
Welcome me to hope
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These are reflections after meditating on Psalm 31. There is power in naming the enemies and becoming aware of the enemies that lie in the unconscious. With knowledge, stillness and reflecting on things true allows the Spirit to dismantle the powerful unconscious feelings that tell us we are not good enough. Name them, turn from them, revoke them and replace them with the truth “I AM BELOVED” each day. Joy comes in the day as we practice believing what is really true about us. This will lead us into a “spacious” place in our souls. All the best for a wonderful 2015.. Your Story Matters http://www.yourstorymatters2him.com
A Lifetime
December 30, 2014
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What lasts a lifetime
Something that will never end
It is God’s favor
He brought me up from the grave
And spared my life from the pit
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Anger is short lived
Weeping may last for a night
Rejoicing comes in the morning
Because God is near
Lifted me out of the depths
And he made my life secure
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When I feel secure
I realize this one thing
A love much larger than me
Establishes life
Gives me the impossible
Anchors my soul in the truth
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My wailing turned to dancing
My cry for mercy came true
I’m lifted out of the pit
Favored and Beloved
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I give you thanks forever
One day at a time I come
My eyes and heart are open
My mind is captured
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Healing always comes
It is God’s precious gifting
To those who believe
Accept His gentle favor
Sit quietly and be loved
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Dark times drive me to the light
A surprising thing takes place
When I’m honestly looking
My soul is refreshed
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These are my reflections from Psalm 30 looking back over these short seventy-two years. The dark times have driven me to light. Oswald Chambers is full of insights into this secret in his book “My Utmost for His Highest.” All the best to us all as we begin this new year. We are all favored.
Soul Maker
December 29, 2014
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No one understands
The depth of the human hurt
It is emotional
Runs deeper than the ocean
And higher than the heavens
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I can go so far
Confess my limitations
Say, “I’m unable”
To be there on that level
I cannot comfort you there
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I’ve tried that and failed
The deep places of the soul
Can only be helped
By One much larger than me
Only the “Soul Maker” heals
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This mystery discovered
In the depth of my despair
When my soul cried out
I had no language to speak
The inner groaning of my soul
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“Where is God,” I say
Why God if you’re really there
Do you let us suffer this
Desperate grief
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I asked, “Who are you?”
When I began to seek you
You came in the deep darkness
Brought light to my soul
Gave me new information
About you and about me
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Now I am hungry
Arise each morning to seek
Be still and listen
There’s someone who hears my cry
Who loves me as His dear son
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Psalm 28:6
“Praise be to the Lord,
for he has heard my cry for mercy.
The Lord is my strength and shield;
my heart trusts in him and I am helped.
My heart leaps for joy
And I will give thanks to him in song.”
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David speaks of where he found help!
Light
December 27, 2014
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To say I’ll walk in the light
Brings me joy and great sorrow
Because I can remember
And I am aware
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When I walked in the darkness
I was blind and did damage
To myself and other ones
This is the problem
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I lost some good friends
Who gave to me from the heart
I took and did not return
Give back the love gift
I know I’m hard on myself
That is still all about me
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Growing up is hard
When one misses the stages
Others will suffer
Maturing comes through the pain
The trials and the hardships
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What is good in me is this
I was looking for the light
Darkness is what held me captive
My tears called his love
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Confusion and the chaos
Growing up was the challenge
Navigating the losses
Is what each must do
No one escapes the darkness
No one can hide from the light
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Moments of silence
In the abandonment years
Came my life questions
Suicides, alcohol, grief
Love entered in little ways
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Pinholes of light came
Little kindnesses given
A smile and a gentle word
Of affirmation
Were the surprising moments
Were embraced with great delight
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Light brings the delight
Forgiveness breaks through with joy
For myself and the others
This love was revealed to me
Through the life of Jesus Christ
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He led with real compassion
His gentleness drew me in
Religion orchestrated
Making sure he died
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He died a horrible death
I cannot even fathom
The magnitude of this loss
Love it represents
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He is my pinhole of light
My failure as a human
Is connected to his death
And resurrection
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I have peace today
Forgiving myself right now
Forgiving others
Accepting the light of his love
And giving it to others
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I’ll make no demands on you
We can be a reflection
But not the reality
God is near to love
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These secret truths are revealed all along the way in the process of growing up and deciding to never give up! There is so much to learn on the journey and I hope to never stop learning. One thing I am determined to do is never stop moving toward the light even in the darkest hour. The movie “Unbroken” is a good example of light coming in the darkness and the power of never giving up. Love never fails. It must start with me and not the other person. Forgiveness opens the window of the human heart to the light of inexpressible joy!
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“Delta Blues From Darkness to LIght” can be reviewed on Amazon and is $0.99 cents on Kindle. It is my story of the painful but hopeful process of continuing to discover light.
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Awake with Hunger
January 27, 2014
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I recognize Him
His presence in other ones
His presence in me
His power works in weakness
That is why I qualify
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I awake with a hunger
To be near the one who loves
Who will give me a fresh look
And teach me new things
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Remember where you came from
Touched by His loving kindness
No one can fathom this love
Another worldview
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Taught me how to look at you
Taught me how to look at me
Teaches me how to live in joy
Controlled by His love
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How you view yourself
With your head, heart and your gut
Is a transforming process
A life time journey
Living one day at a time
A disciplined focus
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The beauty of this
Found in the relationship
You are taught by God
God himself is your teacher
Question: “Do you believe this?”
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It’s been my experience
When I come with a hunger
To know what is reallly true
God surprises me
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I meditate on His thoughts
I decide what I believe
His story captures my soul
New energy comes
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Faith comes in my weaknesses
This love surpasses knowledge
His thoughts rekindle the fire
In my inner soul
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I’m introduced to friendship
I’m being chosen and loved
A friend who will never leave
Says, “Don’t be afraid!”
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I’m introduced to friends
I never knew I needed
Friends who share the same deep love
My community
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“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you or forsake you.” Moses – Deutoronomy 31:6
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“Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfailing beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” Peter – I Peter 3:4
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“For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all surpassing power is from God and not from us.” Paul – 2 Corinthians 4: 6-7
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“But he said to me, My grace(My favor and loving kindness and mercy) is enough for you (sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully), for my strength and power are made perfect in (your) weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weakness and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!” Paul – 2 Corinthians 12:9 (Amp)
Dedicated to our family friend, Michelle
Leaning
January 22, 2014
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I’m leaning on you
In a world of unbelief
May we be like stars
That shine in the deep darkness
Beauty of your handiwork
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I choose where I look
A secret discovery
Comes when I focus
I’ve learned just one thing matters
I have been surprised by joy
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Be clear on one thing
Think it through with all you are
Your head, heart and gut
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Purge your imagination
Truth is what I must pursue
Relationships are dying
Therefore, I will seek real love
And I found it in one man
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He has ignited my soul
Refreshed me in solitude
Rekindled the fire in me
And guided my steps
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His Spirit awakens me
His loving kindness comforts
His presence surprises me
Radiant love comes
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Trouble will always be there
It’s the landscape of this world
It’s the reason God showed up
Became one of us
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He gave a way to follow
Those who practice discover
The way of love is narrow
And few will find it
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If you will practice these things
Recorded on that high hill
You’ll discover a new way
That’s certain and true
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Sermon on the Mount
These famous sayings practiced
Matthew five, six and seven
Will show you the way
They tell about the one thing
They will bring light to your path
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The book ,Famous Sayings of Jesus , by James Woodroof is the clearest writings of how practicing these teachings work out in real life. A.A. (Alcohol Anonymous) practices these all over the world and millions of lives and families have been saved because these teachings are being practiced.
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“Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make at right and plain your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6 (Amp)
Joy Discovered
January 15, 2014
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Beauty in the brokenness
Out of the darkness the dawn breaks
Through death we see life reborn
Joy is discovered
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What is it that needs to die
How can light come in the darkness
Why must I start with chaos
Is there a secret
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You’re not a human doer
You are a human being
Question: How do I be me
Freedom is calling
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Question your worldview
Who defines reality
Whose voice do you trust the most
That’s your decision
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The question is not “What works?”
The question is “What is true?”
Whose voice can I truly trust?
Challenge core beliefs
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The beliefs you adopted
To survive and be secure
To gain some significance
To have some control
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Security/Survival
Searched for by the unconscious
Are developed by a child
By the time they’re twelve
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Affection/Esttem
A real unconscious longing
In the heart of all
Will determine your actions
In the world you live
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Power and Control
How others will perceive you
The image you will present
To hide the true self
A powerful protection
Is toxic as an adult
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These beliefs were gifts
As a child when growing up
Now they are toxic
That leave the mind in chaos
Hidden idols that must die
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Children: the best recorders
Are the worst interpreters
Unless stopped will define you
Keep you in darkness
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You have been given a mind
You must train to think clearly
Face the struggle with courage
Who can set you free
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These beliefs destroy
No one can measure up to
Be perfect and perform the best
Always be happy
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Where do you begin
Choose to go against the lies
That have worked so long
Die to these and replace them
With the higher love of God
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“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Paul – Philippians 4:7
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“Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me.” Matthew 14:30
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“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2
You can find more information on this subject in my book:
Delta Blues: From Darkness to Light www.coachinglifematters.org
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Two Strong Feelings
December 30, 2013
Two strong feelings come
One is great joy and laughter
The other “I feel afraid”
Help me trust in your love
Seek your will with all my heart
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Where will this take me
A question I want to know
Give me your vision
Help me see the world like you
Show me where I can serve you
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The Wonderful Counselor
The Prince of Peace is with me
The Everlasting Father
These great voices speak
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Father shows no favorites
Each child is called to listen
Each one is beloved by God
The work: to believe
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This new world clashes
The power to receive love
Accept forgiveness
As opposed to the judgment
Man gives to one another
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The judgment we give
Will be the judgment we get
So be gentle with yourself
Go against the gods
That live in your unconscious
The ones you learned as a child
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The unconscious arises
When the pressure of life hits
When the trouble really comes
Wisdom is needed
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I will train to be ready
Consistent daily practice
Guard my heart with diligence
Out of it flows life
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Reflections written after reading Luke 14 out loud and meditating on the following thoughts:
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“Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust
who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods.” Psalm 40:4
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“When I am afraid,
I will trust in you.
In God I trust, I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?” Psalm 53:3-4
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“Trust in the Lord at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him, for God is your refuge.” Psalm 62:8
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“You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.” Isaiah 26:3-4
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In the book, Delta Blues From Darkness to Life, the painful process of dismantling of these “unconscious gods” that keep us stuck are exposed and a process of deliverance is revealed in one man’s life. You can read the reviews of the book at www.coachinglifematters.com. All the best on your journey.
One Love Reaches In
December 26, 2013
Many things happen
That wound the souls of people
No one can fathom
Rejection from your parents
A soul that feels abandoned
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One love reaches in
The Everlasting Father
Through His only son
To say how much he loves you
By giving His life for you
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The Wonderful Counselor
Is given to each one who asks
Who surrenders to this love
Says, “Your will be done”
On earth as it’s in heaven
This has been tested and tried
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“If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. Love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The man who fears is not made perfect in love.” John – I John 4:15-18
“The eternal God is our refuge and underneath are the everlasting arms.” Moses – Deuteronomy 33:27
“But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in our salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.” David – Psalms 13:5
Your Story Matters 