Cry of My Heart

December 6, 2010

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I grew up in fear
My parent’s relationship
Was broken and dark
They were ill prepared to love
Hostility and hate came
~
Home – not a place of safety
Home – not a place where peace dwelled
Home – not a place where joy filled
A longing deferred
~
Fear was realized
Love was shattered by these two
Four children suffered
All around were broken hearts
~
Could the cycle be broken
Was there a way to find peace
Could there be love in marriage
And how does that work
~
I found a way to find life
I listened to my longing
Imagined family
Where there was great peace
~
Love and peace the atmosphere
I could see it in my mind
Then I set on my journey
Fifty years ago
~
My dream compelled me
Determined not to repeat
The story of my childhood
For my children’s life
They are grown now and can tell
The cycle has been broken
~
There are certain things
I have learned to hold sacred
And practice each day
Beliefs that refresh my soul
And give to others great joy
~
Seeking peace was a secret
It gave me the right questions
Then I practiced what I found
Voices I could trust
~
For my father and mother
Who were unable to give
I discovered larger loves
Who’ve been my teachers
~
I have learned to wait
To be strong and take heart
I discovered the goodness
And focus on truth
~
The cry of my heart 
Was heard by a higher love
I cannot explain
But in practicing his thoughts
I found my self comforted
~
My heart leaps for joy
Unexplainable friendship
That’s larger than death
Has given me confidence
To see what matters most
 ~
His words breathe life into me
My focus intentional
Introduces me to joy
His truth restores
 ~
© Terry S. Smith
December 6, 2010
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Reflections written early in the morning after meditating on Psalms 26-29; John 15.