Cry of My Heart

December 6, 2010

I grew up in fear
My parent’s relationship
Was broken and dark
They were ill prepared to love
Hostility and hate came
Home – not a place of safety
Home – not a place where peace dwelled
Home – not a place where joy filled
A longing deferred
Fear was realized
Love was shattered by these two
Four children suffered
All around were broken hearts
Could the cycle be broken
Was there a way to find peace
Could there be love in marriage
And how does that work
I found a way to find life
I listened to my longing
Imagined family
Where there was great peace
Love and peace the atmosphere
I could see it in my mind
Then I set on my journey
Fifty years ago
My dream compelled me
Determined not to repeat
The story of my childhood
For my children’s life
They are grown now and can tell
The cycle has been broken
There are certain things
I have learned to hold sacred
And practice each day
Beliefs that refresh my soul
And give to others great joy
Seeking peace was a secret
It gave me the right questions
Then I practiced what I found
Voices I could trust
For my father and mother
Who were unable to give
I discovered larger loves
Who’ve been my teachers
I have learned to wait
To be strong and take heart
I discovered the goodness
And focus on truth
The cry of my heart 
Was heard by a higher love
I cannot explain
But in practicing his thoughts
I found my self comforted
My heart leaps for joy
Unexplainable friendship
That’s larger than death
Has given me confidence
To see what matters most
His words breathe life into me
My focus intentional
Introduces me to joy
His truth restores
© Terry S. Smith
December 6, 2010
Reflections written early in the morning after meditating on Psalms 26-29; John 15.