Desire of Your Heart

October 9, 2012

 
A way is revealed
With gentleness and kindness
Love will come in a whisper
When you long to know
You seek God’s wisdom above all
Make knowledge of truth your aim
 
There is one constant
A surprise to discover
It’s unfailing love
 
In seeking the truth
Being disciplined to think
I found in desperation
A hunger for life
Simple answers do not work
Honest questions saved me
 
It is too good to be true
Wisdom and understanding
Is available to all
Who delight in God
 
Yes, it is the truth
One must practice believing Him
Take Him at His word
 
What’s the desire of your heart
There are promises for you
If you delight in the Lord
Light comes to your soul

Proverbs 8; Psalms 36-40; Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

 
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What I Believe

October 5, 2012

I will see His face
He is observing my life
It’s a look of love
~
I choose what I will look at
I know what the face of love is
I accept the peace He gives
My faith is in Him
~
I am not righteous
I grew up in darkness
A light came cloaked in kindness
Gentleness and love
I looked in the face of God
In the face of mother love
~
My mother could not give
My father emotionally-handicapped
The God of all love
Sent grandmothers and neighbors
And His angels to attend
~
Unfailing love -what I know for sure
I love to tell His story
Light comes in darkness
The fire of joy can be lit
The human soul is restored
~
I trust in unfailing love
I rejoice in His friendship
This friend gave His life for me
There’s no one like Him
~
I choose what I seek
And who I will listen to
The loud voice of fear
Hidden behind guilt and shame
Must be brought into the light
I will speak the truth
I’ll watch when the door opens
Be ready to give
Make the mysterious love
Plain to those who are seeking
~
You have blessed my home
With patience and loving care
Crowned with forgiveness
~
Psalms 11-15; Proverbs 3;
Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

the unseen

May 1, 2010

 

Whose praise do I seek
Do I seek it from my friends
Important question
Answer this one for insight
Then you will know what moves you
 
There you will find the test
The crucible is for silver
The furnace is for gold
Praise, the test for man
 
The unseen is very real
It is just like memories
You can’t see them or touch them
I will build on the unseen
 
I’ll choose who I’ll trust
That’s a gift I received
I’m responsible
 
Education is the key
Real knowledge will set you free
In all dimensions
 
Educate me around death
Who is it that speaks to life
Philosophies run rampant
I want to know the truth
 
© Terry S. Smith
April 27, 2010

your words

January 12, 2010

~
Reckless words will pierce the soul
Healing comes from wisdom words
Truthful lips always endure
Bring joy to the heart
 
A lie is detestable
It brings death and destroys you
Knowing what is true brings life
Today I’ll speak the truth
 
Actions speak the truth
Tell what you really believe
Don’t make light of it
~
It’s easy to twist words
To make them say what you want
You know if your are honest
And have seen all sides
~
Who you trust is important
Do not be afraid to ask
What is it I really want?
Then you’ll know your heart
 
© Terry S. Smith
January 12, 2010
 
Reflections after reading Proverbs 12, Psalm 56, and My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers
~

look deeply

August 29, 2009

~
All of my heroes
Failed to give me any hope
At nineteen I fell
Feeling there was no escape
Empty and broken I cried
 
In me was a voice
I heard riveting my soul
Find out what is real
 
No easy answers
Honesty and my passion
To search and to find
What really matters for life
Decided to never give up
 
Find just a few good people
Honestly searching for life
Develop criteria
To test what is true
 
You’ll need your mind, heart, and soul
Engaged in the process
Examine your resources
You must look deeply
 
I have a criteria
To determine what is true
Ask and I’ll tell you
 
© Terry S. Smith
written January 14, 2009
~

searching for your heart

August 26, 2009

~
Love is what pursues
A surprising mystery
At the center of all things
 
I sit in wonder
I am so thirsty for life
I respond to love daily
 
We have been given a mind
Our responsibility
Is to search for what is true
A life decision
 
Find out what is real
A seeking heart will save you
The truth will free you
 
You will know it when you find
Peace within you will define
The reality of love
Searching for your heart
 
© Terry S. Smith
written September 29, 2008
~

find rest

July 10, 2009

 

I am free to be myself

In the presence of a friend

There is no need to perform

It’s there I find rest

 

I’ve been trained to think

To watch closely for my friends

Who show up on time

 

Intimate friendship

Is where I have discovered

How to listen well

 

I had to face the darkness

Of my own self-centered life 

See the darkness of others

Before I could see

 

There are very painful truths

Places we seek to avoid

They’re plenty of distractions

That will block the light

 

When I’m with a friend

Who knows the truth about me

I find I can rest

 

That’s what God is like to me

It is based on truthful facts

A friendship over the years

That’s bigger than death

 

written July 10, 2009

 

wellspring of hope

July 2, 2009

~
I need a fresh drink
Each morning when I arise
Of eternal hope
~
In the night I am refreshed
With sleep and new beginning
There is an inner wellspring
I’ve learned to draw on
.
I find the hard work
Is to quieten my soul
And listen for truth
~
I must get outside of myself
And test the things that I hear
Be open to new learning
To challenge the fear
~
I have found a place to go
That is restful and certain
It is something I can’t give
Only point the way
.
My loving is not enough
It will fail at its best
But I will never give up
Seeking to improve
~
There is someone who loves me
I have learned “no matter what”
It’s not based on my feelings
They tend to deceive
.
When those I love are hurting
I feel helpless and so grieved
I have no way to fix it
I pray love comes soon
.
My eyes begin the searching
Looking for ways to survive
I finally found one thing
That gives me real hope.
.
written June 14, 2009
.

every morning

July 1, 2009

~

Every morning I arise

And confront the dark places

When I focus they arrive

Challenging the Peace

 

I’ve found that these feelings

I awake with each morning

Were falsely handed to me

From generations

 

Anxiety leads the way

Based on the fears that I have

My desperation hidden

In a secret place

 

These feelings are masked well here

Behind my pride, lust and greed

I know these are all true

About me and maybe you

  

I have learned this truth

Train to daily rest

Under stress my feelings rule

I know what they are

 

Naming my fears has helped me

Writing them down is better

Being honest with myself

I am powerless

 

When I was age twelve

I had figured out my world

How to survive and succeed 

It worked for a while

 

Be a “good boy” all around

“Perform to please the others”

“Be strong and show no weakness”

Then things will go well

 

These are the lies I believed 

My feelings are based on these

The voices that are in me

Are rooted in these

 

They will never go away

This one thing I have learned well

They’ve created a false self

That hurts me and you

 

So I meet them each morning

Allow their voices to speak

I am kind and forgiving

Then put them to sleep

 

A twelve year old will not rule

Who I will be in this day

When the stress arrives

The voice of love will speak

 

written June 30, 2009

~

to search and to find

June 28, 2009

~
“I have finished my work here.”
Are words that I want to say
I know what I am called to do
I will finish strong
 
I am resolved to complete
The work I am going to do
With great joy I will proceed
With freedom to choose
 
It is good to have one thing
That you know matters most
It brings great clarity
Energized by joy
 
Each person must search it out
What that one thing is to them
Love must be the center
And truth at the core
 
And what is truth
Each one is responsible
To search and to find
~
written November 21, 2008
~

healing

May 25, 2009

What do you do when 
Trust is broken among us
I have found a way
Healing of a good friendship
Will take time and your best thought
We are all in a hurry
Slow down and be wise
.
The breaking of promises
Is one of the first killers
It is like breaking a leg
You no longer run
.
How do you choose your close friends
That has been my big question
I know who the first friend is
I will befriend me
~
I found a criteria
That works for me over time
My greatest gift is the friends
Who have come to me
~
Yes, I have learned a secret
An experience of life 
One I am happy to share
With those listening
~
My first friend is me
This is hardest of all
For I have failed me
~
Yes, forgiving me
Then forgiving the others
Which of these comes first
~
You decide which one is first
But I must begin with me
The other has broken trust
I have no control
~
I concentrate on healing
Relief is not the answer
I seek good counsel
~~
Anger can blind you
Of appropriate options
Your fears will paralyze you
Hide the healing touch
Please consider being still 
And find a very safe place (And find the wisdom of love)
~
There’s nothing wrong with anger
It represents the deep hurt
Get it out in a safe place
Then look at options
~
Although the path is simple
A profound truth you must see
You must understand one thing
Your personal worth
~
So search out your friends
Be honest and transparent
Forgive yourself and others
I begin with that
Accept that you are human
And those around your are, too
~
My mother failed me
She was nineteen when I came
I had an older brother
Father, twenty-one
Listen to your story well
You will find important clues
~
My sister was born
Before mom was twenty-one
Mom’s life was broken
~
Everyone has a story
There are secrets in each one
Some are good and some are bad
I found the good ones
~
The bad ones are real
Secrets that need to be told
It gave me understanding
Seen without judgment
I will lead with compassion
For myself and the others
~
To make space everyday
To be aware of my world
To be kind and respectful
And choose what makes sense
~
I found friends who live in joy
Yes, they have been hard to find
When I decided to search
I found friends looking
~
My teachers are good
I have chosen them with care
They lead with their life
I have asked them my questions
And they have given respect
~
Life is a process
A tree starts as an acorn
Planted in good soil
Watered well and good sunshine
Then a mighty oak is grown
~
The same is true for persons
With plenty of time and love
A heart searching for the truth
Honesty guiding (With authentic talk)
~
The best person in my life
I have known for forty-six years
I’ve failed her more than others
Her love is secure
~
She is one of those dear friends
Who’ll never leave or forsake
One I have always trusted
Who has room to fail
~
In early morning light dawns
Help me be gracious and kind
Compassionate and giving
To all that I meet
~
written May 23, 2009
~
~
What are your eyes fixed on now?
Awareness of the focus
Will help you make wise choices
Look to the future
 
We know the past well
It is where we reason from
The past dictates the future
We must think clearly
Or repeat the past again
That truth is hidden from us
 
There are many quick life turns
And sudden changes around
One of my biggest questions
“What can I count on?”