Extravagant Love

March 26, 2011

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The voices that I hear

Are the ones who are not speaking

Their silence is screaming out

I do know their pain

 

Suffering is the teacher

It is one I did not choose

Desperation silenced me

I now have language

 

All along the way

People have arisen here

I did not know I needed

Their voices touched me

Their presence ignited me

A fire lit up my soul

 

Friendship sets me free

To listen to the heartbreak

And wait in silence

Compassion invites me in

Only my tears tell my heart

 

It is the language of tears

It is my deepest desire

To make real what is the truth

Extravagant love

 
© Terry S. Smith
First posted August 5, 2009
 
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Your Beauty

March 23, 2011

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Please cherish your life story
Your familiarity
Blinds you to your own beauty
You must look closer
 
It takes a paradigm shift
A change of lenses to see
Pain as being a part of
Beauty in your life
 
It is in the silent night
There is a whisper of love
Heard only in the stillness
A quiet thunder
 
The chaos was a great gift
Looking back I clearly see
The pain caused me to search out
Love searching for me
~
© Terry S. Smith
First posted July 16, 2009
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Handprints

March 16, 2011


I see your handprints
Looking back I sit in awe
Your gentle hand led
Me out of captivity
Into a world of freedom

In my anguish I cried out
There was no comfort for me
No one saw how desperate
How broken I was

I longed to find peace
To feel the presence of love
To find the understanding
Someone to listen 
My search born of emptiness
In the prison of my shame

A deep loneliness
A soul shattered by my guilt
With no one I could turn to
No language to speak
The years of abandonment
Unspeakable grief lingered

I felt like I was nothing
My failures condemned my soul
My heart confirmed my no hope
No one could help me

I remembered her
My grandmother on her knees
The joy of her love
Her delight when she saw me
The light of love in her eyes

The light I wondered
That twinkle of joyfulness
I knew God was real
I could feel him in her touch
I knew she deeply loved me

My struggle was to believe
That there was a higher love
My thirst to find out the truth
Find a way to live

She opened the door
Her kindness drew me to search
Knowledge is what I needed
My hunger increased
Something in me was driving
Something larger than my pain

I went to the mountain
Got a vision of the peace
Saw joy inviting
An invitation to love
To receive it and give it

My mom and dad were clueless
I did not know why they raged
Or why they could not see me
Now I understand

My search for insight
My longing to understand
My hunger to not repeat
Find a way to peace
Give my children faithful love
Created a great passion

This longing marked me
A fire to discover joy
A mystery ignited
Determination to know
How to be loved and to love

Meditations written after interacting with the thoughts in Psalm 77 and Proverbs 16.
 
© Terry S. Smith
March 16, 2011
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Love Pursues

March 12, 2011

True loves pursues you

Wait and love will come to you

Be silent, listen

 

In solitude are treasures

A secret hidden wisdom

Available to seekers

Who learn how to rest

 

I must stop the noise

Hear the calming words of love

Already given

 

You’re my beloved

You’re the apple of my eye

A refreshing drink

 

© Terry S. Smith
March 11, 2011
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The Calm

March 6, 2011

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Looking back I see

Devastating decisions

That were destructive


My own and others

Forgiveness is what’s needed

Who is willing to give


Can my tears be seen

Are the cries of my heart heard

Looking back I know

In the stillness of the night

I heard a gentle whisper


“You are forgiven”

These words were sweet to my ears

Rooted in reality

There’s a place of rest

Where I found joy in the storm

The calm that brings certainty

~

© Terry S. Smith, First posted April 8, 2010

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Searching

March 3, 2011

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Those I loved were gone

I sat in the darkest night

Afraid, not able to speak

Alone and helpless

~

At the darkest time

No hope on the horizon

Light broke in the dawn

~

To live was my decision

There was fire in my being

Mysterious energy

Coming from within

~

My search became real

The path began to open

The pain was universal

Everyone’s lot

All around there were others

Searching to find what was real

~

It is easy to escape

And medicate all the pain

That is what my parents did

And gave it to me

~

Was I to repeat

And give this to my children

I decided, “No!”

~

I found a community

Of people wanting to know

Seeking knowledge and insights

How to be human

~

Searching is the key

Being honest and fearless

Not afraid to ask questions

Even about death

We’re at different places

But at one in our seeking

 

© Terry S. Smith  ~ First posted March 3, 2010

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